Aldi’s new deal is a great Australiana dream even Kath and Kim would love

Whether or not you’ll admit it, everyone remembers their first.

The first time they fell for an Aldi Special Buy, that is. Was it the motion-activated toilet bowl nightlight? The log splitter, unicycle, tennis ball launcher, night vision goggles? Maybe the motorbike helmet or Downton Abbey figurines?

Mine was large-scale infrastructure: a seven-seater outdoor modular with water-resistant cushions and sleek styling. Followed by the musk pink ski pants (kid’s size 14, but irresistible at $29), the Belinda Jeffery cookbook, the marble hall table, the jade jowl roller thingy, and garment steamer.

Fancy an international holiday with your groceries?

My husband’s spoils include merino track pants, a rice cooker, and LED reindeer. And there’s always the one that got away, the thing you left behind in the bizarre middle aisle. Did anyone nab the AFL team song doorbell? I’m shattered I didn’t. A missed opportunity because, as we know, Special Buys are a one-shot chance.

They’re also the naff thing we all secretly love. An ever-changing constant in the landscape of domestic chores. Grocery shopping is not a time most of us look forward to with anything other than ennui-tinged with fury. But the German powerhouse at least gives us twice-weekly surprises as an incentive to choose them (as well as being named Australia’s cheapest chain this year) over the currently disgraced majors.

So I’m not sure if it’s weird or a natural extension of their shock-and-awe marketing strategies that Aldi has just become a travel agency.

Sadly, there’s no sign of a fake pilot with Velcroed epaulettes in their advertising as yet, but you can’t fault the impeccable timing.

While once-untouchable duopoly Coles and Woolworths are weathering legal and PR storms – they’re being sued by the ACCC for allegedly systematically misleading shoppers over price discounts on hundreds of everyday products – their major rival is cruising.

Literally.

Just now, the top of the Aldi website homepage is devoted to package holidays including a nine-day cruise to Vanuatu and New Caledonia on a boat with dodgem cars. I know, right? Very on brand.

In the supermarket’s own words, Special Buys is getting “a first-class treatment update”. It’s urging shoppers to “sea-ze the day.”

A quick flick through the offerings was discombobulating. A Daydream Island package (bottle of grog and candy bar voucher chucked in), had me feeling like I’d been whirled back to 1982 and was enjoying a nice cold glass of Tang before dinner while being jealous of the craptastic holiday prizes for couples on Perfect Match. Novotel Surfers, anyone?

What this signals for us isn’t just holiday deals that would have delighted Kath and Kim. It says one company figures supermarket shopping has evolved from shopper dockets and reward stickers to becoming a cultural institution, shaping everything from meal choices to eco-conscious shopping trends.

We’re at the social media-led entitled tipping point where we’re not just looking for cheap groceries and chainsaws any more. We want experiences! And if that experience includes a week in Phuket for not much more than I paid for the outdoor modular, sheesh, who could resist?

Where Coles and Woolies are still pushing family value packs of frozen peas, its rival is offering customers a crack at value-packing themselves onto a non-budget airline.

Plenty of fun to be had joshing about it, but I wonder if it’s a smart move or whether Aldi as a lifestyle brand ruins the controlled chaos mystique that is its calling card?

The certainty is while Coles and Woolies are trying to weather their PR storms with damage control and old familiar favourites, Aldi has flicked the switch. The big two are still giving us Curtis Stone plating up a Christmas pav for Nan, and ads with doughty farmers handpicking olives at 3am so we city slickers can enjoy a charcuterie platter. Aldi is giving us the globe.

Turns out, it’s more than just a place to buy an ’80s cheese collection and whacky stuff you didn’t see coming. It’s a business putting on a clinic in outsmarting the competition.

See you on the lido deck for shuffleboard, gang. First Cinzano is on me.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.

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