Showdown is supposed to be a war between toothless ferals and Nannas on the Chardonnays. We like it that way | Caleb Bond

So what if Port fans don’t have enough teeth? Since when was sledging the enemy out of bounds, writes Caleb Bond.

Crows and Port supporters are at war.

In other news, the sun rose from the east this morning and will, reportedly, set in the west tonight.

Some of the hand-wringing after Saturday’s fiery Showdown has been nauseating.

Adelaide forward Josh Rachele said, before the game, that “Port supporters don’t have many teeth”.

And?

Surely we are still free to state that which is clearly true and observable.

He later pointed to his teeth after kicking a goal to fire up the crowd – this is all part of the theatre of football and rivalry of the Showdown.

So Port Adelaide president David Koch took to radio claiming the comment was “really elitist crap, denigrating, almost poor-shaming”.

Yes, Mr Koch, that’s the point.

Josh Rachele of the Crows gestures to the crowd after a Showdown 56 goal. Picture: James Elsby/AFL Photos via Getty Images

Port Adelaide chairman David Koch.

It’s a tale as old as time in all forms of sport – the working class taking on the silver-spooners.

That’s why people go to Showdowns.

It’s all stereotypical and broadly applied but everyone has been using the same lines for years – that Port supporters are ferals without teeth and Adelaide supporters are Chardonnay-swilling, apricot slice-eating nannas with hand-knit rugs over their knees.

There is no revelation that it is elitist and denigrating because that’s why we do it, on both sides, in the first place.

As the game kicked off on Saturday night, I was sat at a Cairns brewery opposite a few Collingwood supporters from Melbourne.

They were well-educated psychologists and, upon hearing they were Magpies, I asked whether they had all their teeth – they laughed.

It is harmless, theatrical fun.

Now the police are investigating whether or not Matt Crouch knocked off the hat of a Port supporter who gave him a bit of lip.

For heaven’s sake – do we want to sanitise the game to the point that these rivalries no longer exist?

There were other more concerning incidents, including Port’s Thunda mascot being punched in the face by a child and Willie Rioli being racially abused online.

The drongos in question should be punished and not allowed near a football stadium for a few years but they are just that – drongos.

They are in no way representative of the broader supporter groups of either team.

To blow it up into some kind of great cultural issue with the Showdown – a heat that needs to be dissipated to restore order – is nonsense.

Idiots will be idiots in every facet of their lives and some of them also happen to follow football.

Deal with them and play on.

In a world so sanitised by fear of offence, footy is one of the few spaces in which we can still let off steam and engage in old-fashioned rivalries.

Cut the moralising and let us have some fun.

Originally published as Showdown is supposed to be a war between toothless ferals and Nannas on the Chardonnays. We like it that way | Caleb Bond