Bizarre run of NRL signings leaves Bulldogs fans bemused
Fans are all asking one question after the Bulldogs responded to their season from hell with a baffling signing announcement.
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Bulldogs fans have one very complex question right now, and that question is this:
WTF?
Forget the woeful season and the acrid culture, Canterbury’s embattled supporters want an explanation over the bizarre and possibly cataract-affected signings for next season.
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They don’t care anymore about releasing players on three-year deals in their first year, nor them being replaced with new three-year deals which are released after one.
It’s a road to nowhere as familiar to the club as Shark Bait.
But what they do want explained is the club’s monopolisation of utility players, and why there’s a slew of Swiss Army knives set to join in 2024- with many more on the way.
If recent rumours are true, bit-parters Drew Hutchinson and Kurt Mann will be joining soon alongside newcomers Blake Taafe and Jaemon Salmon, two blokes who also specialise in doing a bit of everything.
With the Dogs playmaking pool already including Toby Sexton, Karl Oloapu, Hayze Perham and Matt Burton, these extra names are set to create a bottleneck for the ball playing roles that’s bigger than full-time outside Leichhardt Oval.
Its acknowledged there is potential space clearing with Kyle Flanagan gone, Bailey Biondi-Odo off-contract and Burton playing five-eighth solely because he’s reportedly on $800k, and as they say, the tail wags the Dog.
But even if the former Panther is shifted back to the centres - at the risk he may never see the rugby league ball again - it still leaves Cameron Ciraldo with bulk pegs for minimal holes.
Let’s be real: Gould is a living, breathing rugby league Wikipedia that would know more about footy than any of us could fit inside our revolting imaginations.
But despite luring elite talent like Mahoney and Viliame Kikau - and with Stephen Crichton arriving in 2024 - he’s also overseen various early releases and contract flops including Flanagan, Nic Cotric and Tevita Pangai Jr Junior and the insane decision to allow Jake Averillo to leave for Redcliffe.
Worse still, despite the encouraging recruiting drive, none have succeeded in burying the club’s radioactive culture - and none probably will unless the club brings back Mick Potter.
Nevertheless, while nobody denies the virtue of the humble utility, Gould and the club’s insatiable obsession is starting to hover towards restraining order areas.
But whether he’s recently discovered Moneyball or even just DVD itself, this recent spate is like a man enslaved to an abacus or a randomiser.
As such, Bulldogs supporters - who by now are willing to take anything from a serviceable middle-forward to nuclear war - are calling for clarity on where the hell they’ll all fit, and whether control of the club has now been handed over to a formulaic data-driven spreadsheet, or a dartboard.
While some are wondering if it’s only a matter of time before Gould is on the phone to Ben Hampton and Kurt Gidley, at least there’s one silver lining.
The Bulldogs are going to field a cracker side for reggies next year- and with all due respect, a win over a handful of semi-professional carpenters from North Sydney would be quite soothing right now.
- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad.
He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.
Originally published as Bizarre run of NRL signings leaves Bulldogs fans bemused