Jon Hay issues extraordinary public apology to his former teams Hawthorn and North Melbourne

Jon Hay, a 2001 All-Australian before he retired and disappeared off the football landscape, has emerged to detail a 20-year drug addiction and offer an amazing public apology to the clubs he believes he let down with his behaviour.

Jon Hay during his time at Hawthorn.

ALL-Australian Jon Hay has volunteered an extraordinary public apology to Hawthorn and North Melbourne after a career derailed by a 20-year addiction to painkillers and illicit drugs.

The defender was the first AFL player to publicly quit the game because of mental health when he walked away in 2006 with two years on his Kangaroos contract.

Now two years clean, 40-year-old Hay revealed to the Sunday Herald Sun his 20-year battle with illicit drugs and painkillers including valium, endone, oxycontin and morphine.

Hay says he was a “full blown drug addict” as a battle with bipolar disorder and valium use for a back injury morphed into a dangerous addiction triggered by a stalker who tormented him for five years.

Hay received two illicit drug strikes in 2005 while spending the entire season at Hawthorn abusing ice, but despite regular testing never received the third strike which would have seen him suspended.

Having spent five years beating his addictions through rehabilitation and counselling he is now ready to tell his story as an ambassador for The Male Hug.

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Former Hawthorn and North Melbourne player Jon Hay. Picture: Michael Klein

“I was abusing drugs from my early 20s and I have only just got my life together in the last two years,” he told the Sunday Herald Sun.

“In 2005 I got introduced to methamphetamine. I was out one night and a friend introduced me to it and that was it and for all of 2005 I was smoking methamphetamine and I was rocking up to training and recovery on Sundays off my face.“

“By the (time I retired) I was a full-blown addict. I was doctor-shopping, getting morphine, oxycontin and valium and I was a mess. You hurt a lot of people, you lie a lot and you ruin relationships. I was completely in denial. I was continually off my face and passing out and people knew, and finally I admitted the problem.

Hay says his failure to last more than a season at North Melbourne saw recruiters and administrators lose their jobs because they pushed so hard to secure him for a No.18 draft pick from Hawthorn.

He lasted only a single season before departing without taking the final two seasons of his $350,000-a-year contract.

“I want to apologise to North Melbourne because they gave up a lot to get me and I was a terrible recruit. I apologise to the football department, to the administration and the fans.

“I am sorry because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to play football. I thought I needed a change (from Hawthorn). I was happy to be traded to North Melbourne. But I didn’t need a change, I needed out. I was cooked.”

Hay spent three separate stints in Melbourne’s Delmont Private Hospital to deal with psychiatric issues and his drug addiction but believes he has beaten his drug issues for good.

He says neither Hawthorn or the AFLPA were equipped to deal with the complexity of his drug and mental health issues but has taken full ownership of his mistakes.

“I take full responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. I don’t pass the buck, I don’t blame Hawthorn for anything that has happened, I don’t blame North Melbourne for anything that has happened. If anything I apologise to both of them for what happened. Even though some of it was out of my control, I take responsibility for what happened.”

Jon Hay during his time at Hawthorn.

Players foun ways to rort AFL’s illicit drugs code in 2005: Hay

Jon Hay spent the 2005 season with an ice habit, but despite two positive drug strikes he found ways to dodge a third under the AFL’s illicit drugs policy.

Hay believes other players were aware of methods to dodge positive tests as he battled with an addiction to valium as well as his regular methamphetamine use.

He told the Sunday Herald Sun he had only himself to blame for his issues and was determined to take ownership of his drug use rather than point the finger at the AFL or Hawthorn.

But Hay’s tale is another jarring reminder of the weakness of an illicit drugs program that has never seen an AFL player suspended for a drug strike.

Only Hawthorn’s Travis Tuck, found unconscious by police in his car in 2010 with drug paraphernalia in the vehicle, has served a suspension for illicit drugs.

A second strike is now enough to trigger a suspension after a rule change in 2015.

Hay, 40, has been clean the past two years and has become an ambassador for The Male Hug which attempts to spark conversations around mental health for men.

He told the Sunday Herald Sun he was never stood down from football by the AFL in 2005 despite his rampant drug use and positive strikes.

Travis Tuck is the only player to be suspended for illicit drugs.

“I got a couple of strikes but they were confidential. I didn’t get tested a great deal on game day which was fortunate. I got tested quite a bit during training and morphine and valium doesn’t show up. It was only recreational stuff (the league’s illicit drug code) tested for and in 2005 when I was still taking methamphetamines I had a couple of strikes, but I had one up my sleeve and was careful as I could be. The AFL was on to (player drug use) and meth during the week is not performance-enhancing so it’s not as if I was getting an advantage on my opponents. I never (took anything) on game day. I was aware of the consequences. If I got caught then I knew it was all over.

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“That was when the strikes policy came in and I don’t know what was going on at other clubs but guys were aware of the system and how to use it.

“I knew coming up to game day I couldn’t use meth so I would go back to using valium to make sure everything was OK.”

Hay is aware there is criticism some players are using the “mental health card” when caught using drugs and says some drug use does lead to mental health.

“There is a thing called dual diagnosis,” he said.

“What comes first, depression and then drug use or drug use and then depression? We don’t really know.

“It can go either way, for me it was depression and then it turned into drug use but I have no doubt people who start abusing drugs can have mental health issues after that as well.”

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Former Hawthorn and North Melbourne player Jon Hay breaks silence on crazed stalker and drug addiction

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Originally published as Jon Hay issues extraordinary public apology to his former teams Hawthorn and North Melbourne