From The Heart: Trent Cotchin reveals the moment he knew something was up with Damien Hardwick

Damien Hardwick lashed out at his players after a Dreamtime loss. A number of texts and a meeting with Trent Cotchin later, he was on his way to quit the Tigers.

We looked ahead to the Dreamtime game (this year) with Essendon with confidence – it was always one of the best weeks of the year, listening to the stories of our brothers. But while the lead-in to the game was good, the outcome was more of a nightmare than anything else.

When Dusty (Martin) kicked the first goal of the last quarter, we led by 18 points, and that should have been the end of it. But we allowed Essendon to control the ball through uncontested marks and we didn’t defend well. Sam Durham kicked the match-winning goal at the 28-minute mark, putting them one point ahead.

We had blown it.

That led to one of the most unusual post-matches we had ever seen from Dimma. His response was different to any other game I played in.

He was filthy and cutting with his comments to the group and about the opposition. In an angry meeting in the rooms after the game, he referred to us as “putrid” and said the way some of us had played meant he would just get “another c--- to replace us”.

He pointed to the Essendon team that was displayed on the white board and said, “To be honest with you, I reckon this team is a bunch of spuds, and you aren’t even as good as they are.”

Damien Hardwick addressing his players during his final game at Richmond. Picture: Dylan Burns/AFL Photos

His spray had much more to do with us than his assessment of the Bombers. Upon reflection I’m not even sure he knew what he had said.

He was quite rattled. I was thinking, “Well, this is different”.

Given he’d already spoken to me about his personal challenges, the way he addressed our group made me think something serious was going on.

I couldn’t have predicted what happened next but was I totally surprised by it? No, I wasn’t.

He sent me a text message early on Monday morning but I didn’t notice it at first. I was going to Parker’s sport. The text message said: “Hey mate, do you have time to catch up today?” I eventually got back to him, saying: “Do you mean on the phone or in person?” He told me he would prefer to do it in person. I sensed straight away that it was about him. Not me!

He must have wondered if I was reading his message the wrong way, as he quickly sent another text saying: “It’s about me.”

He had spoken to Jack Riewoldt on the phone earlier. Jack was on the golf course and he thought the coach was finishing him up as a player. But this was about Dimma, not about us. Dimma asked me to grab Dusty on my way to his house but I couldn’t get hold of him. In the car, I sensed what was coming.

It was only a brief chat as Dimma had a lot of people to get to before the news would break that he was quitting the club immediately.

I got to his place at 12.54pm; I left at 1.08pm. In between, we sat on the couch and talked about why he felt it was the right time for him to go.

Trent Cotchin and Jack Riewoldt arriving at Hardwick’s press conference. Picture: Michael Klein

It all became too much for Hardwick – and Cotchin knew it. Picture: Michael Klein

The one thing I will always remember was how much pressure seemed to have been released by him making that decision to leave. I can vividly remember how blue his eyes looked. He looked like he had more life back in his face.

He had only told the club the night before that he was leaving, yet you could already see a huge burden had been lifted.

What had happened in Dimma’s life across the previous three years was significant enough for anyone. Add to that the pressure that naturally comes with being a senior AFL coach and it’s no wonder he’d had enough.

For me, the main thing was that I hoped he would find his true happiness.

Our relationship had been challenged but Dimma will be a friend for life. I hope he knows that if he ever needs a coffee or a chat, I will be there for him at the drop of a hat.

After leaving Dimma that day, I checked in with Toby Nankervis, Dyl Grimes, Jack (Riewoldt) and a few others. I was actually told not to tell anyone.

Cotchin and Hardwick celebrate the 2017 grand final win. Picture: Matt King/AFL Media

And two years later, the pair celebrated another flag with Dustin Martin. Picture: Daniel Carson/AFL Photos

Both Hop (Jacob Hopper) and T-Bone (Tim Taranto) had chosen Richmond as their destination partly because they wanted to play under Dimma. Now he was gone in their first year.

I caught up with both of the boys the next morning for a coffee before we went into the club,

just to make sure they were doing OK.

It was a shock for the players and the footy world. I was incredibly proud of how collaborative and strong the Richmond Football Club was at the time.

The conversations we had as a club and as a team were mature and open. There were all sorts of opinions about who we thought was the right interim candidate to take the club forward, at least until the end of a season that was effectively still alive.

They were a bit like the discussions that I was a part of in late 2009, even though the circumstances were very different.

This time the coach had chosen to leave; back then the coach had been sacked. 2009 felt like a lifetime ago. We’d all come such a long way.

This is an edited extract from From The Heart by Trent Cotchin (HarperCollins Publishers, $49.99)

Pre-order your copy of the book here and go into the running to win a prize pack containing a Richmond hoodie, cap and scarf with a signed book.

Originally published as From The Heart: Trent Cotchin reveals the moment he knew something was up with Damien Hardwick