The Block 2023 finale recap: Kristy and Brett unload on agent after major blunder costs them
A disastrous agent error may have cost Kristy and Brett thousands, and spoiled the Block dreams of two other couples, and even Scott Cam agrees.
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Two billionaires with fragile egos, one real estate agent who made a colossal and nationally-broadcast stuff up and an unlikely peace descending on previously warring contestants – and with that The Block 2023 was over.
But first, the always contentious auction order meeting. Steph and Gian agreed to go first, until they saw their enormous $3,350,000 reserve.
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“This is really f--ked,” was Gian’s uncharacteristically blunt response, while Steph dissolved into tears and briefly changed her mind about being first off the blocks before being persuaded it still made sense to put the house with the most interest first.
Eliza and Liberty were similarly put out by their reserve of $3,250,000 given their agent had told them if it was any higher than $3.2m they’d have little chance of making any money, but they still agreed to go second.
But the other couples all wanted to go second or third, with none wanting to go last. The expert advice was that Kyle and Leslie’s home made the most sense to bring up the rear, but they refused, meaning the remaining trio drew straws for position.
Leah and Ash were furious to get the least coveted spot.
“F--k the neighbours,” she said.
But given the vitriol of this season, there were surprisingly few fireworks, and there were even scenes of mortal enemies Kristy and Leah joking as they had their make-up done.
The auctions started with a bang, with both Steph and Gian and Eliza and Liberty’s fears about their reserves proving unwarranted.
Adrian Portelli, who bought Omar and Oz’s house on last year’s disastrous auction day, snapped up two this year. He handed Steph and Gian a whopping $1,650,000 in profit when he bought their house for $5 million.
Then he backed up again and bought Eliza and Liberty’s place for $4.3 million, sending them home with $1,050,000 between them.
Last year Portelli copped accusations he was a dummy bidder. This year he gave new meaning to the term, by bidding against himself twice during Eliza and Liberty’s sale for reasons known only to himself.
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And then to the most embarrassing agent blunder ever seen on the show.
With the other three houses all sharing the same reserve of $2,970,000 reserve, Brett and Kristy’s agent Sam Inan of Belle opened proceedings by telling all the bidders they were looking for anything above high twos.
“Why the f--k did he say that,” Kristy exploded as Brett exclaimed that he’d just done the exact opposite of what they’d told him to do.
The couple said they’d agreed he would simply say “we’re going to sell today” and certainly wouldn’t tip off the bidders what the reserve was.
His offhand remark didn’t just affect Kristy and Brett, but the subsequent two couples, who bidders could probably have worked out shared, if not the same reserve, something fairly close.
Added to that he offended big-pocketed Adrian Portelli by referring to the auction as “a raffle” and then failed to namecheck the tedious-but-rich Danny Wallis who bought himself his usual screen time by bidding in stupid increments in a joke that wore thin about eight seasons ago but didn’t actually buy a house this year.
While Brett and Kristy have been quick to point the finger at others during this season, in this case they had Scott Cam firmly on their side. He even let out an F-bomb as the events unfolded, and when the agent came to consult with them after he’d allowed the bids to creep just $65,000 over the reserve, Cam didn’t mince his words.
“You set the scene by saying $2.9 million,” he said.
While Kristy and Brett gamely tried not to seem ungrateful for their $65,000, which they conceded would be a lot of money for many people, Kristy noted it didn’t even cover the wages they gave up to spend three months on the show.
“Oh well, Australia got what they wanted,” Kristy said as Cam tried to assure her that wasn’t the case.
Kristy was in tears later, saying it wasn’t just for herself, but for Kyle and Leslie and Leah and Ash, who had to come next.
“Our agent not only f--ked up for us, they f--ked up for them too, and they left kids behind to be here,” she said.
Still, Kyle and Leslie walked away with $130,000 in prize money, which Leslie declared herself happy with.
And Leah and Ash wisely passed their house in before it could creep over their reserve, partially because their main buyer had fainted (into the arms of comedian Dave Hughes in fact) and was taken to hospital before she could bid on their house.
They seemed fairly confident they’d negotiate a good sale in coming days, and when Kristy mouthed a tearful apology to her former best mate, Leah assured her there were no hard feelings.
So while this season might have tarnished the family-friendly reputation of the show, at least it didn’t end with anyone declaring anyone else dead to them.
MISSED AN EPISODE?
Ep 47/48: ‘Lack of empathy is sociopathic’: Leah unleashes on Block team
Ep 46: Three teams plot to ruin Leah and Ash’s chances
Ep 45: ‘This is a disaster’: Judges slay Block backyards
Ep 43/44: Leslie pulls jaw-dropping dirty Block tactic on Leah
Ep 42: Block claws out as Leah calls out landscaping ‘cheating’
Ep 41: $30k error ruins Block villains’ horror week
Ep 39/40: ‘She is unhinged!’: The Block’s nastiest fight so far
Ep 38: Unlikely Block friendship raises eyebrows
Ep 37: Block’s ‘Mrs. Positive’ cracks at judges criticism
Ep 35/36: Kristy calls out Leah’s own two-faced Block bullying
Ep 34: Scott Cam bemused by most awkward Block dinner ever
Ep 33: Leah and Kristy go all out in bitter Block bust-up
Ep 31/32: ‘Crew hates them’: Drunk Kristy’s spray shocks the Block
Ep 30: ‘Something is wrong here’: Truth about Block villain becomes clear
Ep 29: ‘Make The Block great again’ — Kristy’s shock Trump-style stance
Ep 27/28: ‘I’ve had enough’: Brett’s foul spray at Block producer
Ep 26: Australia turns on ‘revolting’ two Block couples
Ep 25: ‘F*** that!’: Kirsty rages at Block sisters ‘sympathy trip’
Ep 23/24: Foreman bribe has Block ‘fake friend’ seeing red
Ep 22: Block sisters left reeling after builder’s text
Ep 21: ‘It’s the Titanic for them’: Shaynna savages ‘micro room’
Ep 19/20: Tensions flare over one Block team’s ‘s***ty attitude’
Ep 18: Knives come out over cocktails with Scott Cam
Ep: 17: Block’s controversial moss wall leaves a bad taste
Ep 15/16: Block team rushed to hospital after falling down manhole
Ep 14: Block sisters plot bizarre bathroom feature
Ep 13: Blockheads baffled after being punished for following orders
Ep 11/12: Dangerous near miss as Block home’s ceiling collapses
Ep 10: ‘A***hole real estate agent’ — new judge cops massive spray
Ep 9: ‘Better if left empty’: Block judges deliver brutal feedback
Ep 7/8: Real reason Block team is shielding their windows
Ep 6: ‘Don’t speak to me ever again’: Rogue dad brings Block drama
Ep 5: Block team gets dad to help, accused of rule breaking
Ep 3 & 4: ‘Secretive and fake’ — Battle lines drawn over Block agents
Ep 2: Stumble out of the blocks: Team demolishes wrong room
Ep 1: ‘Fugly as’: Contestants unimpressed with Block houses
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Originally published as The Block 2023 finale recap: Kristy and Brett unload on agent after major blunder costs them