Backroom Baz: Matthew Guy’s Love Island play; Craig Ondarchie’s anonymous praise

Liberal staffers trying to turn Matthew Guy into a sex symbol might have jumped the shark with their Love Island antics.

No offence to Matthew Guy, but we aren’t sure he’d live up to the Love Island dress code.

Matthew Guy’s TikTok antics have been well reported in this fine column in recent times, but it seems the tech-savvy Liberal staffers have gone a step too far.

The opposition leader’s team are far too brazen in their desperate attempts to market their main Guy as a sex symbol.

Last week the official Liberal Victoria page, under the banner ”remember this November”, published a collation of photos spruiking Guy’s smile.

Now, they’ve turned it up another notch with a new video of him entering a room to the tune of reality hit Love Island’s famous catchphrase – “a hot new bombshell enters the villa”.

Hefty (anonymous) praise

Liberal frontbencher Craig Ondarchie is bringing out the big guns to secure preselection at the top of the upper house Northern Metro ticket.

The man “affectionately known as the ‘businessman in parliament’” (that is, according to his own Liberal Party bio) has released some glossy promotional pamphlets for delegates contemplating his future.

There’s references aplenty, including Ann Peacock who says her father Andrew spoke highly of Craig, while federal La Trobe MP Jason Wood also rows in with support.

Baz scanned the pamphlet looking for any state MP support, but could only spot an anonymous reference, curiously signed off by a “senior Coalition MP”.

Craig Ondarchie new brochures are full of praise from his federal friends. Picture: Rob Leeson

“Craig is a true professional who is driven by Liberal values and is a team player,” the MP says in words worthy of filling a university student’s CV.

“He is a valuable member of the Coalition and nothing is too much trouble for him when it comes to constituents. His enthusiasm is contagious!”.

Who is this Coalition (not Liberal!) MP too timid to put their name against such praise? Or is there another reason this enthusiastic advocate can’t be identified?

Baz would have gladly contributed to the references if asked, particularly given how regularly his good friend Ondarch appears in these pages.

Hutchins goalkicking dream

She’s just had the biggest promotion of her career, but new Education Minister Natalie Hutchins couldn’t help but channel her inner childhood dreams this week.

The Sydenham MP looked right at home during her first official press conference this week where she rubbed shoulders with AFLW star Darcy Vescio and a bunch of sport-obsessed students.

Baz was rather shocked to learn that Hutchins had once dreamt of becoming a famous footy player when she grew up.

Natalie Hutchins and AFLW star Darcy Vescio.

“I don’t mind telling you all, I could have possibly been an AFLW star in my day, except the fact there was no league for women, but I did play a lot of street football as a kid,” she revealed.

Hutchins could barely hide her fan-girl moment by proceeding to interrupt her own presser and ask Vescio a question.

She later backed it up with a perfect drop punt. Perhaps the AFL could look at establishing a seniors league?

Factional maverick

Watch out top gun! Labor MP Lee Talarmis set tongues wagging with a fairly amusing update to his Facebook page.

Although Baz is not privy to the inner workings of Talarmis private profile, he is able to see his main display picture along with the other 7 billion people on earth.

In this picture, the MP looks pensively into the horizon while he flaunts a pair of Ray Ban sunnies.

He also appears to be wearing a cravat.

Labor MP Lee Talarmis or Matt Preston? You decide.

Although the picture speaks for itself, the thoughtful pose has many wondering what is on the Talarmis mind?

Perhaps he’s contemplating his next move within the ranks of the party’s Socialist Left faction? Or is this just his election game face? Only time will tell.

Those other guys

Premier Daniel Andrews is famous for his choice to avoid naming Matthew Guy and his opponents as much as possible, but he had to move quickly to clear up the confusion after he employed this tactic at a recent press conference.

At an announcement for new health initiatives, 10 News journalist Natasha Exelby pushed the premier about why the improvements hadn’t been made sooner which led Andrews to accuse “others” of attacking frontline staff.

Matthew who? Picture: David Crosling

Dan Andrews did it. Picture: David Geraghty

Exelby shot back that she wasn’t making any insinuations and he promptly moved to clarify he was not taking aim at the press pack, for that day at least.

“If I want to make a comment about any one of you, I’ll do it,” Andrews said.

“You all know me well enough to be able to read that when I say ‘other people’ I’m not referring to you.”

Transcripts of these state political press conferences can often make for bizarre reading.

The premier has used every term in the book to avoid saying Guy’s name.

Meanwhile the Liberals and Nationals have made an art form out of slipping the words “Daniel Andrews” and “Labor” into every sound bite they can.

Hacking, tractors and porn

The political porn hackers have struck again. Liberal health spokeswoman Georgie Crozier is the latest MP to fall foul of filthy social media infiltrators, who posted pornographic images to her pages.

She is now facing a lifetime ban on Facebook.

Crozier also revealed that deputy Liberal leader David Southwick had also been targeted.

It reminded Baz of some of the other infamous social media hacks, such as when former health Minister Martin Foley “liked” a series of obscene posts on Twitter before realising his identity had been stolen.

It also got Baz reminiscing about one of the most ridiculous stories of the decade, when UK Conservative MP Neil Parish resigned after admitting to watching pornography on his phone – in the House of Commons.

Parish, a farmer, said he viewed the explicit material when looking for tractors on a website with a similar name.

His fatal mistake, of course, was going back for a second peak, according to Parish himself. “My biggest crime, most biggest crime, is that on another occasion I went in a second time and that was deliberate. That was sitting waiting to vote on the side of the chamber.”

Guess who?

Originally published as Backroom Baz: Matthew Guy’s Love Island play; Craig Ondarchie’s anonymous praise