Sunshine Coast ex-Army couple’s $100k emotional IVF journey

An ex-Army couple have shared the emotional rollercoaster that was four years of their lives.

The Clark Family

A Sunshine Coast couple about to give up on round 10 of their $100,000 IVF journey have revealed how a single surprise embryo found in a freezer changed their lives.

Olivia and Jonathan Clark went through a four-year emotional and financial rollercoaster after starting in-vitro fertilisation, or IVF, in 2015.

With the process totalling more than $100,000, paid for by couple, their employers and Medicare, Mr and Mrs Clark are telling their story in the hope it will encourage and inspire others facing the same challenges.

Mr Clark, who in 2014 was an Army man, and Mrs Clark, an emergency Army nurse, aimed to have their first child together by the end of that year but it didn’t pan out that way.

It took 11 gruelling rounds of IVF treatment before their son was born in 2018.

Olivia and Jonathan Clark tried 11 rounds of gruelling IVF before falling pregnant with their son.

The couple sought specialist help in 2015.

Their specialist mentioned IVF, which Mrs Clark thought was a bit far-fetched because she was only in her late 20s at the time.

Olivia Clark thought the idea of having IVF in her late 20s was a little far-fetched. Picture: iStock

“We were really lucky at that stage that we were both in the Army, so they paid for it,” she said.

The first four rounds of IVF did not work, which was devastating to the couple’s high hopes.

“Those were the biggest, most emotional, difficult experiences of the process,” she said.

Specialists could not find a reason behind the fertility issues and the Clarks persisted.

The Clark Family.

“Sometimes we find that’s one of the most personal questions. ‘What’s the reason?’ ‘Who’s fault is it?’ None of that is helpful,” Mr Clark said.

A few years in, Mrs Clark left the Army.

She said the stressful nature of her role could have contributed to the situation.

“At that stage it wasn’t well documented that stress can be a big part of infertility,” she said.

Mrs Clark thought her stressful job may have contributed to the infertility issues of the couple. Picture: iStock

Once she left the armed forces, the couple paid for two unsuccessful treatments themselves.

IVF treatments

Looking at the bills, they found in the private sector costs increased noticeably.

Mrs Clark said one round would cost from $10-15k.

“I’d be going to a night shift after a failed round and thinking, I just threw that money in the bin,” she said.

The process’s total cost would be tallied at more than $100,000 and the couple is grateful the Army and healthcare chipped in.

The total cost of the treatment was about $100,000. Picture: iStock

Mr and Mrs Clark chose not to tell family and friends about what they were doing for the first four or five rounds of IVF.

“I’ve seen so many friends go through IVF and tell everyone, as obviously their hopes are so high for the first or second round, then I’ve seen real sadness and then they kind of wear the failure as everyone is looking, hoping and questioning,” she said.

The Clarks said it was vital for their mental health as it meant anything they did with family and friends was a positive distraction.

Devastating miscarriages

As IVF after IVF treatment failed, there was a point where they began to question how long they could carry on with treatment.

“We had two early miscarriages at around six weeks, which were devastating,” Mrs Clark said.

After the false hope, she stopped making joyous announcements to her husband.

Mrs Clark said by the time they had switched to a bulk-billed provider, Adora Fertility, they had gotten to a point where they thought, “we may never have our own children”.

She said bulk-billing made it a lot more comfortable financially.

“The part where you feel like you’re ditching a house deposit for something that might not work is removed,” Mrs Clark said.

Turning point

In 2017, after the 10th failed round, they had both agreed to move on but their luck was about to turn.

“We got a letter in the mail at Christmas that said there was one embryo in the freezer,” Mr Clark said.

She said to her husband, “let’s just pop that embryo in and move on”.

The Clark Family

On Australia Day, a pregnancy test showed slightly positive.

Thinking it would be another of those pregnancies that would miscarry early again, she did not tell her husband.

She went to her night shift at the hospital where a doctor friend convinced her to do a ultrasound.

“She literally put it on at five in the morning and there was a little flicker on the screen,” Mrs Clark said.

That flicker was the heartbeat of their son who was born, slightly premature but healthy, in August 2018 to overjoyed parents.

The miracles kept on coming.

“We were over the moon with the one child but, three years later, I got naturally pregnant,” Mrs Clark said.

Advice for others

Mrs Clark has a massive soft spot for those going through “the trenches” of IVF and has some advice for other hopeful parents.

She said not to let it overtake your entire life as “it feels like your life stops”.

“Hanging out with friends normally, going for that promotion at work, finding a hobby that allows you to put your mind into something different is a huge help,” Mrs Clark said.

Their relationship is of course a massive part of their successful journey.

“You’re a team who chose to have children so stay as a team,” Mrs Clark said.

Mr Clark’s advice for partners is to be the constant support.

“You’ve never truly failed if you’ve given yourself a plan A, B and C,” he said.

Originally published as Sunshine Coast ex-Army couple’s $100k emotional IVF journey