Natalie Gregg: How I overcame a lifetime of embarrassment
A simple skill that most take for granted went spectacularly wrong for Natalie Gregg in her teens and she’s finally learned how to overcome the anxiety as an adult.
In my late teens I was walking along the street when a tennis ball landed at my feet. I looked up and four attractive boys my own age were looking imploring through a nearby tennis court fence.
They called out for me to return it and I began to panic knowing in advance I was likely to fail. My ego was fragile and I wanted so badly to impress them. So I tried. So. Many. Times. But each toss fell short, hitting the side of the fence and falling back.
One ghastly attempt went in the opposite direction, across the road when they suggested I try throwing an underarm.
Eventually I gave up and when I handed the ball to another passer-by he easily returned the ball in one easy shot.
The story seems so trivial but I can still feel my teenage cheeks hot with embarrassment.
I never learnt to throw a ball well. My throws always lacked oomf, and anything resembling a sense of direction.
But recently I decided I was going to learn.
When was the last time you picked up a new skill?
I’ve always been impressed that my siblings learnt foreign languages as adults. My sister picked up Thai and my brother Mandarin on their travels like extra stamps in their passports.
I’m sure it was tougher than that, but the way they talked about it, it sounded effortless. Around the same time, I lived in Italy for six months and despite Italian being a much easier language, I could only mumble the basics.
My self-consciousness about how awful I thought sounded hindered my progress.
It’s often said that children’s neuroplasticity means they are quicker to learn new skills than adults.
But the other advantage kids have is their lack of self-consciousness. I only have to look at the sheer joy of my kids dancing to see that.
A large part of learning anything new is not caring what people think, how you sound, or if you’ll stuff up. Because you will.
Learning new skills is humbling. But the success is all the sweeter.
My efforts to master ball-throwing began on a recent family camping trip with. My brother and my husband were on hand to provide advice. They both can throw with effortless grace mastered over years on the cricket pitch growing up.
It’s different now, but when I was a kid, it wasn’t a sport most girls played. It’s not like I haven’t known sporting glory – my year seven netball team won the grand final – but it turns out playing goal defence and pegging a ball are not transferable skills.
On the recent camping trip one of my attempts narrowly missed some retirees strolling along the beach. At that point my husband estimated he’d spent more than 10,000 hours throwing a cricket ball to hone his skills.
He was (kindly) referencing that 10,000-hour theory made famous by Malcolm Gladwell of how much effort and time it takes to become an expert.
But I’m totally fine at being an amateur. I just want to be good enough to be able to throw a ball to my two young sons. I don’t want them to think that mums can’t throw.
After countless hours of practice with tips on how to hold the ball, the distance of my hand from my shoulder, the rotation of my body and the very important final flick of the wrist, slowly some degree of understanding is sinking in. The unexpected thrill of lobbing a ball hard in one direction and having it land where I had aimed can’t be understated.
I’m also happy to report no one was injured during my training.
My greatest advantage … I no longer give a toss what anyone thinks.
NAT LOVES: Royal poinciana trees. They are in bloom everywhere I look and their flame-red flowers and green leaves make everything feel Christmassy.
Originally published as Natalie Gregg: How I overcame a lifetime of embarrassment
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