Bushranger: Terry Mills gets caught out and a Coroner crackin’ the lols
Just when you thought it was safe to be online. Bushranger is back with Territory gossip and smear. This week we see Terry Mills caught out and a coroner who is cracking the lols.
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Just when you thought it was safe to be online. Bushranger is back with the week’s Territory gossip and smear.
TERRY GETS CAUGHT OUT
WE GOT to rate Terry Mills and his cricketing prowess at the Territory Alliance Australia Day community backyard cricket match held at Jingili Watergardens. A witness described his skill level as “much better than John Howard, but not quite as good as Bob Hawke”. Unlike Bob Hawke though, Terry didn’t try to stop the ball with his face.
MF SNAKES IN MF PARLIAMENT
DARWIN Snake Catchers were called out to Parliament House on Thursday morning at 5am to remove a python sitting on the steps at the entrance. By the time they arrived to remove the slithering beast with a forked tongue it was gone … possibly up to it’s office for another day of governing the Territory.
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SNAKES IN YOUR JOCKS
SNAKES are often in places they shouldn’t be. One of Bushie’s friends got the fright of her life when a children’s python was found under the washing in her son’s room. Snake catchers were called but the reptile slipped into a crack in the skirting. The snake catchers assured she would “never see it again” but lo and behold, a week later it was found in her son’s underwear drawer. Needless to say she didn’t let it slip away this time.
READER OPINION
THROWING $#!+ at the NT News #5
THROWING $#!+ at the NT News #6
ORANGE SCOOTERS THE NEW BLACK
THERE has been an influx of fluoro orange throughout the Darwin CBD this week with the introduction of the Neuron e-scooters, and an influx of laughs for Bushie. Bushie has witnessed Darwinites of all shapes and sizes trying to master the clunky e-scooters, some not doing such a good job. Bushie even saw a fella with his kid stood on the deck in front of him, hanging onto the handlebars for dear life.
CROCODILE WITH A FLOATIE
TERRITORIANS like to think they’re experts on crocodiles, and now a particularly brave soul has the chance to prove it. Authorities in an Indonesian province are offering a reward to anyone who can retrieve a motorcycle tyre from around the neck of an almost 4m wild crocodile in Palu City. The crocodile is believed to have been carrying the tyre for years and authorities are worried the tyre may strange the animal if it isn’t removed. While no details of the reward have been given, just imagine the bragging rights.
TIE ME CHOPPER DOWN SPORT
AN AIRCRAFT worth a cool quarter million has been seen tied to the back of a Toyota LandCruiser ute with nothing more than a few tie down straps.
Mustering helicopters fly pretty low in the Territory, but this Robinson R22’s cruising altitude was only a few feet above ground level while it rode the tray of the blue Toyota travelling across the Top End.
Fortunately, there was no risk of the chopper taking off as it appears the blades have been removed, although there’s probably still a fair chance of the chopper taking flight – only from it bouncing out of the LandCruiser on a Top End bush track.
MUM WITH NO IDEA
THAT’S not a roach, this is a roach
A young family on a Sunday morning walk along Fannie Bay got an education in Top End animals.
The mother pointed out some little finches on the fence to her daughter.
Her daughter ignored her and kept on riding her bike down the path.
The mother then exclaimed the black birds looked a lot like flying cockroaches.
CATCHING A PUDDLE BARRA
THE Top End is full of secret freshwater fishing holes that flourish when the wet season comes, and even become almost as popular as fishing in the sea. Almost every day this week Bushie has spotted people wetting a line at roadside waterholes on either end of Kirkland Rd towards Palmerston. Bushie is yet to see anyone reel in a catch suggests those who don’t score a fish to consider picking up a pizza from the nearby Dominos for dinner.
HOW IS A PRIEST LIKE A SHEEP – THIS IS NOT A FLOCK JOKE
SCIENTISTS have miraculously recreated a mummified Egyptian priests’s voice but whether it’s as impressive as it seems is up to the listener. Royal Holloway, University of London, the University of York and Leeds Museum academics replicated the voice by making a 3D-printed voice box based on the priest’s vocal tract. The resulting noise sounds like a sheep’s bleat. If you ever want to know what an Egyptian priest’s voice sounded like, all you have to do is visit a petting zoo.
CORONER GETTING THE LOLS
TERRITORY Coroner and Darwin Local Court judge Greg Cavanagh sent giggles through the courtroom earlier this week when he stopped in the middle of a hearing to tell a bizarre anecdote about a fishing trip he once took. “Shocking accommodation, had to get out of there real fast,” he recalled to the room of bewilded court-goers. “The fishing was good though.” The defendants left the court that day with a raft of heft fines, but also some valuable advice about where not to stay for their next fishing trip.
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