Youth suicide: Hay teen Joseph O’Keeffe, 16, ‘bullied to death'

Parents of talented bush teen Joseph O’Keeffe believe he was bullied to death — now they want to stop it happening to others, especially to kids in rural area. The 16-year-old suicided in October last year.

Joseph ‘Joey’ O’Keeffe had just won his AFL club’s best and fairest award and was five days away from finishing school when he took his own life.

Now the 16-year-old’s grieving family are calling for more mental health resources in the bush amid a spike in rural suicides.

From Hay in the state’s south west, the Year 10 student was looking forward to starting a jackaroo traineeship and dreamt one day of owning a farm.

His parents Jill O’Keeffe and Tommy Gleeson, as well as cousin Saris Nisbet, say he was struggling to deal with bullying on social media, at school and in the AFL community.

He suicided on October 31 last year.

Joseph ‘Joey’ O’Keeffe, 16, suicided on October 31 last year.

They also said a lack of mental health care and no phone coverage made it all the more difficult to reach help in his time of need.

“When I close my eyes to go to sleep I see him,” Ms O’Keeffe, 51, said.

“Life is empty, confusing – nothing makes sense anymore.

“I see his friends all together and where he should be, but he is not there. And it just reminds me again he is gone.”

Mr Gleeson, 49, said Joseph was good at anything he put his hand to, including motorbikes, welding, cricket and later AFL. In his first season at the Hay Lions Football Netball Club in 2017 he won the best new player award and continued to improve.

But while he was excelling on the field, his parents say he was being taunted off it.

Ms O’Keefe said in 2019 his grand final winning jersey was defaced at presentation night, with “Joey is gay” scrawled on the front and back.

Ms O’Keeffe claims she told the club about the situation but nothing came of it. Joseph did not want to pursue it further. She said another player left the club after experiencing similar bullying.

Joseph’s parents Jill O’Keefe and Tommy Gleeson with their sons Nadin and Layne. Picture” Andrew McLean

Ms O’Keeffe also said Joseph was often excluded from social events outside the club.

Club president George Auldist said “I, and the members of the committee I have spoken to, were not aware of any bullying or ostracising of Joey”.

“I am very proud of the level of integrity, honesty and commitment of the committee, coaches and parents who actively run the club and can honestly state that this type of behaviour is not tolerated in our club and if it had been seen it would have been stopped immediately,” he said.

Ms O’Keeffe said she has recently learned Joey was often present at school but absent from class, regularly visiting teachers, the principal and deputy principal’s office to “just chat”, but never to raise any issues.

“What 16-year-old wants to hang out with school staff? Nobody.” she said.

“Why aren’t the teachers saying ‘I’ve got a child often at school, but absent from class, maybe we should give his parents a ring’.”

Joey O’Keeffe, 16, was going to train to be a jackaroo.

Joey was a talented AFL player and loved playing cricket.

At the time of Joseph’s death, Hay War Memorial High School was one of 50 high schools around the state that is yet to have a full-time counsellor, according to the NSW government.

While Education Minister Sarah Mitchell declined to comment, a NSW Education spokeswoman said the school currently has a school counsellor two days a week with senior tele psychologists accessible anytime.

“There is a recruitment process under way to fill the new position as well as a student support officer position,” the spokeswoman said.

By June 2023 the government says every high school will have a full-time counselling allocation as well as a full-time student support officer.

Mr Gleeson said school was tough for his son, who “kept it all inside”.

Mr Gleeson said his son changed in his last weeks and months.

“He’d get home from school some days and he’d just go to his room, and that was it, he wouldn’t come out,” he said.

“Towards the end he said he didn’t want to play AFL. Every day he would say ‘Dad I don’t want to go to school can I come and work with you?’ ”

Joey and his brothers when he they were younger.

His parents urged him to finish his last week of school and move on to become a jackaroo. Instead he died alone while his family were away on a short trip they had begged him to come on.

Suicides like Joseph’s have become increasingly common in the bush during the second year of the pandemic.

In the year to November 31, 2021, there were 48 more suspected or confirmed suicides in rural and regional areas compared to 378 the year before. In Greater Sydney that figure has reduced, according to NSW Health, from 425 in 2020 to 401 in 2021.

Joey’s family have been left devastated by his suicide.

Joey O’Keeffe lived with his family in Hay.

Under 18s suicides across the state are also slightly up from 25 to 31 between 2020 and 2021.

In a message to parents, Ms O’Keeffe said: “Don’t just assume that nothing is wrong. Ask your kids questions. Tell them that it is okay to be afraid, upset and unhappy but never be scared to just talk about it.

“Parents need to teach their kids that while comments can be made as a joke, to someone with mental illness that will only ever be interpreted as you trying to put them down.”

Ms O’Keeffe said crisis line pamphlets were found in her son’s room and that she believed poor mobile coverage in rural areas meant he was unable to call them when he needed them most.

“The helplines are OK if you can get onto them. In rural areas a lot of kids don’t have that service to make that phone call. There just needs to be more resources.”

What is Can We Talk?

The Sunday Telegraph’s ‘Can We Talk’ campaign exposed clusters of student suicides across the state, which forced the NSW Government to overhaul how school teachers are trained.

The campaign unearthed the inadequacy of school counselling services at a time when youth suicide rates were at their highest level in 15 years. Teachers and school counsellors spoke about feeling powerless to stop children taking their own lives.

It has won the support of parents, mental health experts, teachers and principals, including Sydney University Brain and Mind Research Centre co-director Professor Ian Hickie, 2014 Australian of the Year Professor Pat McGorry, NSW Teachers Federation president Angelo Gavrielatos and his 67,000 members, the NSW P&C Federation, NSW Labor and headspace founding CEO Chris Tanti.

As a result of the sustained pressure, every teacher in NSW will from next year be trained to better understand students’ mental health.

Education Minister Sarah Mitchell told The Sunday Telegraph it will be mandatory for teachers from public, private and Catholic schools to be taught mental health as part of their on-the-job training.

The campaign also won 16 new school psychologists for rural students, fast-tracked a statewide suicide register and shone a light on the mental health crisis consuming school-aged children.

In October the state government announced a further $130 million in suicide prevention training for schools.

The Sunday Telegraph is still fighting to increase the number of NSW school counsellors to one for every 500 students. The current ratio is 1:725.

If you need help go to lifeline.org.au or call 13 11 14

Originally published as Youth suicide: Hay teen Joseph O’Keeffe, 16, ‘bullied to death'