National bullying reforms honour Charlotte’s Wish, but nothing can erase her family’s pain

Two-year-old Will O’Brien’s favourite teddy bear is one filled with his sister’s ashes, providing a stark reminder of families’ pain behind national bullying reforms announced on Friday.

Charlotte O’Brien was just 12 when she suicided after relentless bullying. Picture: Supplied by her family.

• Strict new rules to combat bullying crisis

Little Will O’Brien had a big sister, but now she’s gone to heaven. All he has left is the teddy bear he carries around, full of her ashes.

“This is how William is growing up with his sister,” said mum Kelly O’Brien as she shared photos of the two-year-old and Charlie Bear having cuddles, playing games, laying side by side in bed.

It’s a stark reminder of the damage done to families by relentless bullying.

Charlotte was just 12 when she succumbed to the torment of school bullies, and in the 12 months since her death her parents Matt and Kelly have fought every day for change.

This week they met with Federal Education Minister Jason Clare, who walked them through the findings of the National Anti-Bullying Rapid Review.

Charlotte with her adored little brother Will.

Will giving his Charlie Bear a big hug.

Mr Clare handed down the 120-page review to state and territory ministers on Friday, which recommends key measures including faster responses to bullying incidents and trauma-informed training for teachers.

The report also outlines eight recommendations, which includes education ministers committing to actions and reforms set out in the national standard, an implementation plan across all school systems, and schools initiating safety and support planning.

“Overall the report looks good and it is quite comprehensive,” Charlotte’s dad Mat said.

“We love the reference to creating ‘active upstanders’ in the report. Charlotte used to say to us that she just ‘needed an upstander not bystanders’.

“We provided that feedback to the review panel and it’s great to see Charlotte’s wish included in the report.”

Mat and Kelly O’Brien said forcing schools to initiate a rapid response to any observed or reported harmful behaviour and report incidents or complaints within two school days was a great start to tackling the bullying epidemic.

The federal government committed to the national review in response to The Sunday Telegraph’s Charlotte’s Wish documentary, which featured the O’Briens and other families across Australia who had lost a child to suicide after relentless bullying.

Charlotte with her mum Kelly O’Brien, who is determined to see change in the way bullying is dealt with in schools.

“We lost our beloved daughter, Charlotte, to suicide in September last year. She was just 12 years old. Thirteen months on, we are still trying to make sense of the unimaginable,” Mat said.

“The grief doesn’t lessen — it reshapes, it lingers, and it lives with us every single day.

“We would give anything to see her smile again, to hear her laugh echo through our home, to watch her play with her baby brother, Will, whom she adored.

“There are no words to fully capture the heartbreak of knowing we will never hold her again.

“No parent should have to live this reality. And yet, far too many do.”

Vanessa Love with a picture of her daughter Courtney, who suicided in 2012 after relentless online bullying. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

“We want to extend our thanks to all those involved in confronting what has become a terrifying epidemic among our children: bullying, and the harm it causes — too often in silence.

“We welcome the review’s clear message: the focus must be on stopping bullying and harmful behaviours before they start, and ensuring we intervene early when they do.

“This can’t be a box-ticking exercise. It’s not about token assemblies or one-off lessons.

“This is about saving lives. It’s about embedding empathy, safety, and mental health support into the everyday fabric of our schools, and giving kids the tools to speak up — and be heard.”

Charlotte’s mum Kelly said she was driven to make change, “not just to save lives but also to improve the quality of life for those living”.

Vanessa Love, who featured in the documentary and lost her daughter to suicide, said she wished the changed had been implemented back in 2012, when Courtney took her own life.

“I attended many meetings with the deputy principal in regards to her school bully,” Ms Love said.

“The recommendations are a step in the right direction to tackling the extreme bullying issues Australia are facing.

“Teachers clearly aren’t able to handle bullying situations in the classroom or playground. “Trauma-informed training is a big step in the right direction.

Charlotte and Will O’Brien snuggling up together. Picture: Supplied by the family

“The bullying policy in schools should be nationwide so no matter what school a child attends, they all know it’s the same policy. That way there’s no loopholes about how bullying is dealt with.

“We want to know that our kids are safe at school and that if they’re being bullied at school, that it’s dealt with immediately before it ends badly.

“So the 48-hour response I’m all for.

“I shouldn’t have had to keep attending Courtney’s school time after time after time to only be told they’d sort it, that it’s just teenage girls not getting along.

“Well Courtney’s 13th anniversary was on October 5th and if there was a 48-hour response time at school, and the teachers knew how to handle bullying issues through training, Courtney just may still be here.”

Originally published as National bullying reforms honour Charlotte’s Wish, but nothing can erase her family’s pain