Surrogacy barriers in the Northern Territory caused Gove couple anguish

A COUPLE who have dreamt of becoming parents since they were children but later struggled to conceive their own babies want laws introduced to make surrogacy possible in the Northern Territory.

Gove couple, Shanyn and Brendan Vanderham, who are considering surrogacy in order to have a child.

NO MOUNTAIN is too high, valley too deep or river wide enough for a pair of Territory lovers who continue to jump through hoops to make their dream of becoming parents a reality.

Nhulunbuy residents Brendan and Shanyn Vanderham, 28 and 36, who have struggled over the past decade to conceive their own babies, want laws introduced to make surrogacy possible in the Northern Territory.

After many failed IVF attempts, setbacks with overseas adoptions, surrogacy research, trips to fertility specialists, and more than $150,000 spent on pursuing their childhood dreams, Ms Vanderham’s sister-in-law offered to be a surrogate.

But Ms Vanderham said she was told by a fertility specialist that she was ineligible to take part in a surrogacy because she was fertile.

Surrogacy Australia chief executive Rachel Kunde said NT IVF clinics were not engaging in surrogacy despite there not being any laws governing surrogacy in the NT.

“Because of no surrogacy laws, there’s no way to get full legal rights of the child once it’s born which is why people aren’t doing it,” Ms Kunde said.

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Ms Vanderham said she “understands that the (rules) with surrogacy and adoption are strict for a very good reason”.

“We were happy to have police checks, financial reports, psychologist reports, family tree, medical history for both us and our families and counselling sessions,” she said.

“If a couple has a willing surrogate, and are prepared to pay for the surrogates medical bills, they have been through all the necessary checks, medicals and counselling and are still willing to go ahead, should it matter whether they are legally deemed infertile?

“If having seven failed IVF attempts over eight years of trying, not to mention trying naturally isn’t enough to prove that there are fertility issues then something needs to change.

“I’m not saying that we should use surrogacy as a standard practice, but for those people out there who are so deserving and have faced obstacle after obstacle, why make it so hard?”

Ms Vanderham said the couple did not meet the criteria for adoption waiting lists in many countries because they were simultaneously trying to have a biological child and did not practice religion.

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She said the couple’s case worker contacted them in December last year to say their application to adopt a child from Thailand had been accepted but that there would be a “three year wait”.

“I got Goosebumps all over and burst into tears. It was almost like I just knew, this was our child. It just felt right,” Ms Vanderham said.

“We had already waited seven years, what was another three.”

Soon after, Ms Vanderham found out she was pregnant, and the couple is expecting a child in October.

“Not only were we going to be parents of a precious little child from Thailand, but we were going to be able to give that child a sibling and were having a biological child as well,” Ms Vanderham said.

“(But) we received an email a few days ago, advising that due to restructuring any applicant who has a biological or adopted child now needs to be considered for withdrawal from the adoption waiting list. Our hearts sank.

“I hate it when people say ‘but you’ll have a child or your own now’. An adopted child is just as much our own as a biological child will be.”

Ms Vanderham said she and her husband were waiting on official clarification in relation to the adoption.