Bushranger: Cocaine sex scandal special edition

BUSHRANGER has never won an NT media award. But he might this year for exposing the cocaine sex scandal. This week, we reveal some dirty secrets and brutal facts about the week that was.

Marked it wrong, dude

FONG LIM MLA and self-appointed minister for shit-stirring interjections, Mark Monaghan, found fit to take a swipe at the NT News on day 1 of parliament, sarcastically jibing that it was “wonderful” that the CLP “gets their facts from the NT News”. Surprise sunshine, we were just getting warmed up on this scandal fiasco.

Mick’s yelling match

CONSIDERING how hoarse the Chief Minister sounded on Thursday after ripping shreds off people with his vocal chords during the lunch break, we’d imagine Michael Gunner would lose his voice completely if anyone tried to oust him.

Tash the ‘real chief’

THERE’S at least one person in parliament who publicly backs Natasha Fyles for leadership and that’s Opposition Leader Lia Finocchiaro, who this week kept referring to her as “the real chief minister”.

ABC Darwin’s shame job

YOU know what else turned out to be real recently? This very column. Despite what the taxpayer-funded ABC Radio Darwin’s Jo Laverty and the entire ABC Darwin team might have their readers, listeners and viewers believe, it turns out Bushranger was 100 per cent on the money. Shock horror, we did the research, it’s called journalism. And for the record, this column goes through rigorous editorial checks and requires legal sign-off. To show how badly ABC Darwin had its pants pulled down this week, which has been very much noticed by commenters on the NT News website, a story written by Jesse Thompson was last night still headlined “Blain MLA rejects ‘untrue’ rumours raised in NT Parliament”. Let’s hope the ABC this week acknowledges that this is, indeed, a huge story very much in the public interest. Let’s not forget their Four Corners mash-up on federal Liberal ministers Christian Porter and Alan Tudge in November last year for similar issues. By the way, Bushie watched ABC Darwin’s 7pm news on Monday night and counted three, yes three, local stories. The cocaine sex scandal was nowhere to be seen. Oh that’s right, it wasn’t a story!

Fylesy still loves the NT News

HEALTH Minister Natasha Fyles, perhaps hearing the insult made by Mark Monaghan who sits right behind her, minutes later said “we love the NT News”. Thanks Natasha, we love you too, and in that vein when you decide to challenge for the leadership just remember to give us a cheeky call, hey? Actually though, if you could, that would be great. But you better make sure it’s OK with Joel first. xoxoxoxo

Careful what you wish for

BACK to Mr Monaghan. As a first-term MLA just like his mate from the electorate of Blain, perhaps he would be wise to consider who he aligns himself with within caucus. On Monday during the Chief’s Year Ahead speech at the convention centre, Mr Monaghan could be seen sitting in a row of three next to Port Darwin MLA Paul Kirby and former caucus colleague Mark Turner. Bit awkward now, considering the vote to boot Turner out of caucus was “unanimous”.

Turner’s swift exit

FOR his part, Mr Turner sat at the end of the row, as close as he could get to the exit before bolting the moment the Chief had finished his presentation. For a bloke that’s 7ft tall at least, Mr Turner has proved a very good hider considering we can’t seem to find him anywhere to get a comment these days.

Side room sessions

WHEN he does reappear, we’d love to ask him what was going on Thursday morning in parliament, when Mr Turner slinked away into the side room of the chamber and kicked off a two-hour round of musical chairs. Ministers Natasha Fyles, Kate Worden and Paul Kirby also went into the room, followed by Johnston MLA Joel Bowden. Kirby came out, Chansey Paech went in. Chief Minister Michael Gunner and Mark Monaghan went in as Fyles, Worden and Bowden exited. And the process just repeated until everyone had a sneaky sesh in the side room.

Sordid texts revealed

EVERYONE wants to know more about what was said in the text messages obtained by the NT News between Mr Turner and his lover. Let’s just say, some of the content wouldn’t have even made it on to a free porn blog it was so grotesque.

We nose about the panic

SPEAKING of crisis meetings, we reckon a group of current and former fifth floor staffers with known noses for debauchery would have been scurrying their affairs into order this week after a two-month police investigation was revealed. One would hope Gunner’s inner circle has investigated these “rumours” a bit better than the Turner ones. Particularly this mysterious fourth person, another government staffer, that we’re told is a potential player in the ongoing cocaine sex scandal debacle. Watch … this … space.