Why silent commuters need to put down their phones and say ‘Merry Christmas’

Would you say Merry Christmas to a stranger? With an increasing number of Aussies reporting they’re lonely, perhaps it’s time to look up from your phone and start exchanging pleasantries. It ‘tis the season after all.

This week as I was walking through Sydney’s Central station, I made eye contact with a woman who surprised me by saying ‘Merry Christmas’.

“Oh my God,” I thought to myself. “She’s a nutter.” I managed to reply, “You too”, before picking up the pace and finding the nearest exit.

After I had got a safe distance away, I wondered whether I had been mistaken. Perhaps she wasn’t a potential serial killer but just a nice woman offering season’s greetings to strangers? Maybe she was lonely and in need of some human interaction and I had failed to properly engage? How very unchristian.

It also got me thinking about why someone I don’t know saying something nice to me was such a shock.

Looking back over 2024, I realised that while I commuted into the city three out of five days each week for the past year, I had only spoken to a handful of people during the journey, and both occasions it was when the bus broke down.

I am to blame for the lack of small talk as much as the next commuter.

As soon as I get on the bus I whip out my phone and start going through my emails, then I start scouring the news sites.

Queuing in silence. iStock.

When I occasionally look around, it’s silent. Everyone else has their heads down too, doing the same thing presumably.

On the way home, it’s the same story, although occasionally I put on a podcast. Either way I’m plugged in. Our mobile phones have turned us all into zombies.

The latest stats show one in six Aussies are lonely and it’s no wonder. We’ve stopped talking to each other.

Last weekend, I was on another bus heading to a nearby restaurant, when two men in their 70s squared up to each other over who was going to take the priority seat. In the end they had to be pulled apart and neither ended up sitting down.

The scenario was so bizarre I shared a chuckle with a stranger sitting next to me. That small connection felt good even if it was at the misfortune of others.

Perhaps my New Year’s resolution should be to strike up conversations with my fellow commuters, or say nice things to people in the street.

So, if some strange woman starts talking to you on the bus or at Central Station, it could be me. Don’t worry, I’m not mad.

And, by the way, Merry Christmas.

Originally published as Why silent commuters need to put down their phones and say ‘Merry Christmas’