Podcast transcript: Phone calls leading up to Jaron Chester’s eyebrow wax

This is an edited transcript of phone calls between Jaron Chester and an unnamed friend, Michael and John Ibrahim, Mim Salvato and Ryan Watsford, Jaron Chester and Jerome Chester, Jaron Chester and Margaret Staltoro, Daniel Ibrahim and Bridgette Lee and Daniel Ibrahim and Margaret Staltoro. GRAPHIC LANGUAGE.

This is an edited transcript of phone calls between Jaron Chester and an unnamed friend, Michael and John Ibrahim, Mim Salvato and Ryan Watsford, Jaron Chester and Jerome Chester, Jaron Chester and Margaret Staltoro, Daniel Ibrahim and Bridgette Lee and Daniel Ibrahim and Margaret Staltoro.

These calls were tendered to court.

Warning: Graphic language.

JARON CHESTER AND AN UNNAMED FRIEND

Jaron Chester: Things went south today man

Unnamed friend: Yeah, nearly

JC: No, literally, yeah had a big argument

UF: Oh really, who with?

JC: Mick

UF: Why?

JC: What I told you last night, so I’m just going to chill for a bit

UF: About what? About what we spoke about?

JC: Yeah

JC: Oh, no, about the money

UF: Oh yeah. Oh really?

JC: Yep

MICHAEL AND JOHN IBRAHIM

Michael Ibrahim: Hello

J ohn Ibrahim: Good morning mate.

MI: Morning. I didn’t get to sleep until f**king five o’clock.

JI: Huh?

MI: I didn’t get to sleep until five o’clock thinking about these c**ts burning bro.

JI: Just relax bra. Alright. I’m going in to work. I’ll call you when I’m heading back.

MI: Alright man.

JI: You go straight home and relax yeah?

MI: I’m going to sleep.

MIM SALVATO AND RYAN WATSFORD

Mim Salvato: I’m telling you now, okay, Mick’s not f**king — it gets into his head mate, if he gets something in his head he just f**king goes nuts. Like we’ve tried to calm him down three times.

Ryan Watsford: What, today?

MS: Yeah, at John’s house

RW: What do you reckon, he’s trying to set me up?

MS: No no, I’m saying if you get a phone call or anything like to go see anyone right, don’t take no one’s phone call I’m telling you now. Nothing’s going to happen, I’m just saying, right. But you know, at two in the morning if he starts — you know if he wakes up ad it clicks, off his head, you know what he’s like.

RW: Yeah.

MS: He hasn’t slept over this, alright. No one can gain nothing out of seeing anyone in this mood.

RW: Yeah.

MS: Not at all.

R W: It’s ridiculous.

MS: John’s got the shits hard because he’s thinking like, this is my -- like John’s concerned, you know … was out front, it wasn’t his house.

RW: Yeah, I know, I know

MS: Mate you’re better off, don’t take no one’s phone calls, don’t meet no one don’t f**king … If I were you and he rings and you’re getting harassed you turn both phones off.

R W: Yeah.

MS: Mate, Mick’s just, he’s pacing around pacing around, just carrying on. You know I can get you back in the fold. The other one, right, he’s a f**king nightmare waiting to happen.

RW: What do you reckon he’s honestly looking for me?

MS: Mate, I’m telling you now I wouldn’t f**k around with you … what happened on Sunday night, okay, in front of his brother this is a man that’s got the f**king shits. You didn’t see the gravity of it at all.

MS: This is not sexy we’re dealing with you know, he’s embarrassed because if something happened in his brother’s house … that he’s got the shits about.

MS: You know, and then, you know, what he’s going to f**king stab two f**king idiots like you?

RW: Do you honestly reckon, do you honestly reckon he’s looking for me? Tell me the truth.

MS: If he saw you in Dover today … If he saw you in Dover okay, in front of people … He’s not stupid right to do something to put himself in jail, but he’s going to slap you or punch you in the face right in front of everybody, a hundred per cent, right.

MICHAEL AND JOHN IBRAHIM

John Ibrahim: Mick, I’ve got this. Don’t worry

Michael Ibrahim: No bro, I’m shaving his hair off today.

JI: Huh?

MI: I’m shaving his hair off today. I swear on my dad’s grave next time he does it …

JI: Mate, listen to me, Mick.

MI: … I’m shaving his hair off today.

JI: Mick.

MI: Mate, he’s not running to you, John.

JI: Stop with the phone calls.

MI: He’s not going to run to you John.

JI: Stop with the phone … phone calls.

MI: All right.

JI: Enough

MI: I’m just telling you he’s not running to you, bro. I don’t give a f**k, he’s not running to you

JI: There’s no way he’s running to me. I’m your brother.

JI: Enough with the phones

JARON AND JEROME CHESTER

Jaron Chester: Um, like it’s fine, everything’s fine, um, except, I don’t know how to explain this to you, but I kind of have a shaved head now.

Jerome Chester: What?

JC: Well dad, you know, you can’t just take money off people and there be no consequences

JeC: So what do you mean you have a shaved head?

JC: So he said to me. He goes, “what do you expect?” He goes, “do you want me to take your car?” I go, “I don’t understand”. He goes, “you took $30,000, I swore to you, I swore to you next time, he goes, I’ve never touched you but he goes, “I’m gunna shave your head and give $5,000 to the Children’s Hospital”. I said, “okay.”

JeC: So you’re bald, bald?

JC: I’m glad you think that’s amusing Dad.

JeC: I didn’t say that. I asked you a question.

JC: I need clippers to finish the rest of my head off.

JeC: Where am I going to get that from?

JC: Well there should be some at home. I’m just going to tell mum I did it for cancer.

MARGARET STALTORO AND MICHAEL IBRAHIM

Margaret Staltoro: (Laughs) Mick, you guys are f**king nuts. When did youse do that?

Michael Ibrahim: Just now. (Laughs)

MS: Okay. (Laughs)

MI: I sent it to Ryan and I go — and I go, do you want (laughs) ---

MS: What did you say?

MI: I go, you know you’re next c**t

MS: (Laughs) Oh don’t. Sorry. Oh God, and is Oompa okay?

MI: Yeah

MS: He should just shave it all

MI: No, I left it like that on purpose (laughs)

MS: (Laughs) Mick, you’re nuts

MI: It looks — it looks like Friar Tuck

JARON CHESTER AND MARGARET STALTORO

Margaret Staltoro: Yeah go on. John lost it at him, why?

Jaron Chester: Basically lost it at him today and his eyebrows are going tomorrow.

MS: Who’s doing them, John?

JC: Taking him to waxing place in the Cross.

MS: But he jokes with him. They didn’t look that angry with each other today in the office.

JC: They said he’s got to do it because Mick has told him to and Mick has got to do mine when he gets back.

MS: What are they on about?

JC: I don’t know Marge.

MS: It’s just a joke. It’s stupid you know that.

JC: Yeah, so um, basically you know that’s where I stand. Don’t know what to do but I just need to get out of it Marge.

MS: Yeah yeah. They can’t be doing this eyebrow thing that’s ridiculous. I don’t believe it. I’ll be honest. I just reckon John is shit stirring so he like, does something.

J C: Apparently he was dead set serious. He said he swore on his daughter’s life and he has to do it now.

MS: Oh well no offence, he swore on his daughter’s life he didn’t know about those Bali tickets so hes a f**king, he swears on his daughter’s life that easy. Sorry but he does.

JC: Yeah.

MS: So that means shit.

JC: I’m just like, you know I’m at a point where I don’t care anymore. You want to take off my eyebrows and embarrass me more in front of everyone and have a laugh. Okay, do it. If that’s what you guys are going to do and then call yourself friends. Well…

MS: He’s a f**king c**t. That’s shit. I’m sorry.

JC: You know where is it going to end after this whole eyebrow thing or is it going to continue you know? Where does it end? Okay, I f**ked up. I did. I admit it right but I got punished once already.

---------- LATER ----------

MS: Have you seen anyone?

JC: No

MS: No. OK cool

JC: It’s happening though

MS: What? Why? What makes you think that?

JC: Two o’clock

MS: Huh?

J C: Two o’clock Ryan is going

MS: Are you f**king serious?

JC: Yeah

MS: Where is he going at two o’clock?

JC: Across the road

MS: They’re doing it there?

JC: Yep

MS: He’s a f**king prick. That’s f**king slack. That’s not even funny

---------- LATER ----------

JC: They just did Ryan’s eyebrows.

MS: Are you f**king serious?

JC: Yeah. He just wrote me a text saying, “you’re tomorrow.”

MS: Daniel’s girlfriend works there.

JC: Are you serious?

MS: Yeah. Bridgette. She must think what a bunch of f**king idiots these guys are.

JC: It’s embarrassing honestly.

MS: It’s f**king ridiculous. John didn’t have to do that. I’m sorry.

JC: You know what’s really weird? Between you and me… Mick basically writes in a message saying “I can’t believe my brother’s so ruthless”. He goes, “I gee you up about it” and then John is saying that Mick wanted this to happen but it’s just like I don’t understand.

MS: Mick is not a liar.

JC: No he’s not.

MS: Was John in there at the salon when Ryan got it done?

JC: Yeah. He took photos and was standing there with Kyle.

MS: He’s a f**king idiot. He’s a f**king idiot f**kwit. It’s not even f**king funny now. He’s a f**king idiot. You’ve just turned me off. f**king rude. He’s a f**king idiot. Sorry. That’s f**king disgusting. It’s not even f**king funny. f**king dumb.

JC: Kept the eyebrows.

MS: What did you say?

JC: The eyebrows are at the house. He’s going to put them in a picture frame.

MS: F**k off, he’ll probably put it in the f**king book and I’m just I don’t even find it funny. Is this going to be a funny story for his and Kyle’s long life friendship is it?

MS: Sorry, I’m burning, I just think that it’s disgusting.

MS: I can’t believe he brought Kyle with him. He’s a f**king idiot. I don’t even find it funny. I don’t think Kyle would find something like that funny.

JC: He was laughing.

DANIEL IBRAHIM AND BRIDGETTE LEE

Daniel Ibrahim: What’s going on Bridge?

Bridgette Lee: Hey.

DI: This f**king new shop waxing people’s eyebrows?

BL: I know. Seriously I should be getting paid more for this shit it’s ruining my reputation.

DI: Are they at least paying you, the f**king tight asses?

BL: Yeah. Your dad paid.

DI: F**king hilarious.

BL: I’m like, “you should be paying me double bitch.”

DI: Hey?

BL: Nothing. What are you doing? Did he call you today having a sook?

DI: Who?

BL: Ryan.

DI: He goes, “oh mate, I saw Bridget, she’s such a gem” and I’m like, “yeah I know she’s a pretty cool chick.” He’s like, “she’s really helped me out. You know I mean I’ve been in there freaking out and I went home and cried for an hour and she’s really been there for me. You know. She’s really good you know you know what I mean?” I go, “Ryan, you’re just having a bit of a f**king emotional breakdown. Pull yourself together.”

BL: Oh he was killing me you know when you’re laughing so hard you’re almost about to wee yourself and you can’t stop, this is what was happening, and I couldn’t stop. And he’s looking at me so sad and he’s like, “please stop laughing” and I’m like, “I just can’t take you seriously look at your f**king head.” He looked horirble. Oh my God it was actually ridiculous. I mean he’s like, “you going to do my mate’s brows too.” And I’m like, “what do you mean?” Like, please don’t put me through this again.

BL: He said he thinks his eyebrows are going to grow back. I said I don’t think they will.

BL: Like he goes to me, “you know like Daniel the f**king prick, you know he’s shaved them off like once before but they grew back f**king thicker,” and I’m like, “Ryan, that’s shaving, I’ve just ripped it out from the f**king hair follicles it’s not going to come back thicker.”

BL: Oh God.

DI: I go “bro, it’s been waxed, there’s no hair follicle there to grow. My mum waxed her eyebrows once and the hair never came back”. He goes, “what do you mean?” I go “that’s what happens you’re old now, so like you’re body is not as sprite as it used to be”. He goes “nah nah, it’s gonna come back, the best thing you ever did to me was shave them because they came back thick and luscious,” I go “okay but there’s nothing to grow back now.”

BL: It actually, actually killed me, did he show you what they looked like now?

DI: Yeah, how’s um, how’s um, what’s his name, Oompa look? He looks like an idiot.

DI: The friend, little fat one.

BL: He was hyperventilating and he’s like, “do you got any valium?” I’m like, “how’s your anxiety?” He’s like, “my anxiety is so bad I’m sweating” and I go “you seriously you just need to chill the f**k out. Like relax yourself”. And Ryan’s sitting there like “you’re such a f**king pussy bro, just relax” and I’m like, “shut up you were the biggest pussy yesterday, what are you talking about, acting all tough.”

DI: Yeah. Yeah. Tough now mate.

BL: Yeah. Now cause I’ve just put your brows back on you look like a dickhead.

DI: Oh did you put cartoon brows on him?

BL: I got the henna, and I like henna tattooed, which isn’t permanent. I henna tattooed them back on. But it’s like what my brows look like.

BL: And he’s like, “it’s alright yeah, Bridgette? Tell me tell me, it’s alright”. And I can’t keep a serious face.

DANIEL IBRAHIM AND RYAN WATSFORD

Daniel Ibrahim: You see Ryan’s eyebrows?

Margaret Staltoro: No, that’s pretty slack, you’re a f**king c**t. What did he go to your friend’s … to Bridgette’s salon?

DI: Yeah he went to Bridgette’s. John made him wax them.

MS: That’s pretty f**king slack.

DI: It’s waxed as well. They’re not gonna grow back that quick.

Originally published as Podcast transcript: Phone calls leading up to Jaron Chester’s eyebrow wax