Goolgowi suicides: Town rallies behind Hale family devastated by two deaths

Life was near perfect for the Hale family. But when their son Billy died by suicide, they were left struggling for answers. Four months later Billy’s mother took her life. Geoff Hale has now spoken out about the suicides and how a tiny town has helped the family through their unimaginable loss.

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At 21, Billy Hale was fit, handsome, healthy and a great footballer for the Goolgowi Rabbitohs. His proud dad Geoff says he was magic to watch on the field. He had just finished his plumbing apprenticeship, had a beautiful girlfriend, tonnes of friends and he was “the life of the party” but on March 28, he inexplicably took his own life.

There was no indication anything was wrong. He left no hints, no note, nothing. The mystery of his death left his family bewildered and set off a chain of events that has left the town reeling.

“There was not a thing with Billy, everyone thought he led a perfect life, young boys idolised him, wanted to be him,” Geoff, 47, says.

Geoff Hale and his son Billy and wife Donna.

“He had hundreds of mates and was the life of every party and there were never any signs to his girlfriend or friends. He was even having a good night out that night, he got dropped home and this happened half an hour later at about 3am.”

How and why haunted the entire tiny town of Goolgowi, population 260.

“We received the phone back from police, they found nothing, no notes. That was painful enough cleaning his house out, there was nothing to be found there, nothing in his phone. He didn’t drink any more than any 21-year-old boy. I’ve talked to so many of his friends that were with him that night and his partner, but there was just nothing, not a thing.”

Billy Hale with his mother Donna, who took her own life four months after Billy died.

Billy Hale was a talented footballer.

“There was no sense to it and that destroyed Donna, as well of having to identify him, that killed us both.”

On July 14, Donna posted “I miss you sooo much my baby and would love to hold you tight, I’d make sure you’d never be alone again at night, I’d keep you safe, and heal your heart, I’d do anything for you if it ment (sic) you didn’t have to part.”

Eight days later, in the middle of the night, Donna also took her own life.

“She just needed the answers and it haunted her and I know she loved all of us so much. When they chose to do that they are not in their right frame of mind, I knew she would never want to leave us and neither would Billy, it killed us and she couldn’t recover from it,” Geoff says of his partner of 29 years.

Geoff and Donna Hale were high school sweethearts, pictured on their wedding day in 1996.

Geoff and Donna were school sweethearts who met at Temora High. Geoff, aged 18 had gone back to school to complete his HSC, but then he met Donna, then 15.

“We both dropped out and started working and wasn’t long before we had Emily,” Geoff said.

Emily came first, then Amber and baby William, known as Billy, completed their family. They moved to Goolgowi, about 50 km out of Griffith, 17 years ago, taking out a five year lease of the pub. They were, in Geoff’s eyes, the perfect family. Close, loving and intrinsically part of the fabric of Goolgowi.

“It’s a wonderful little town, we loved the town and made so many friends so we decided to stay,” he said.

Donna Hale with Billy as a baby. Donna took her own life four months after her 21-year-old son Billy died by suicide.

Geoff was the president of the football club and captain of the fire brigade. Donna worked at the general store. Emily had two children who were the apple of their grandparent’s eyes.

Then Billy died.

“We did counselling as a family unit because we are such a tight, close family, so we were entitled to six free counselling sessions. We had been to five before Donna died, but it was a 100 kilometre round trip to Griffith to see someone, she was helpful, but I think with Donna, I think she had already made up her mind,” Geoff said.

On July 4, Donna posted a poem on Facebook — “To have and to hold you, I wish I could again, just to see you and hear you might just help my pain. The hurt is so hard, it will never go away, I need you and miss you every single day. I love you my baby boy Billy.”

Geoff and Donna Hale were high school sweethearts.

Donna Hale was the love of Geoff’s life.

Geoff said: “I knew she was struggling, we were all struggling. Donna appeared to be the strongest of us all, she was supporting me more than I was supporting her, even though I was supporting her, she seemed to be the strongest. She was probably masking it. She kept saying to the girls ‘I’m worried about your dad, watch your dad, watch your dad, I think he wants to go be with Billy’ but maybe she was shifting the focus off herself.”

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Geoff thought if they could just get through the cold, dark winter, they would be OK.

“That night, she wasn’t in bed with me and I rang and text and rang and no reply, I assumed she must have been on the lounge or sometimes she used to go sleep in Billy’s ute, just to be close to him. Then when I got up in the middle of the night I started to fear the worst then, then I went in search of her. I don’t really want to say anything about the rest.”

Geoff Hale and his daughters Amber, 26, (right) and Emily, 27. The three are determined to stick together.

Geoff found Donna down at Billy’s beloved football field on July 22. It was where they celebrated Billy’s 21st, and where his funeral was held. Friends feel it was where she felt closest to Billy.

“Billy’s death destroyed her, it destroyed me too, but it makes me more determined to stay here for my girls, I know I have to. There is an easy way out, but the devastation that is left behind, I can only think they are not in their right frame of mind, they know the damage that is left behind and Donna knew that especially, she could not have done it if she was in the right frame of mind.”

The town of Goolgowi has swung behind the family. Marie Clarke, who lost an uncle to suicide four years ago, is determined to bring the community together to find solutions.

“Billy and Donna’s death gutted the community. There was a lot of guilt, not seeing the signs and not being able to stop it, that feeling never goes away,” Ms Clarke said.

Geoff and Donna Hale were inseparable for 29 years.

“But a lot of feedback was that people can’t access services to try and do something. We want to try and get some services. Hopefully there will be some counselling for people in the future, if that is one bright thing can come out of it.”

“The best therapy for us is being close with the grandsons and we have a wonderful community that is so beautiful, we have visits and phone calls and contacts and just overwhelming, I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful people are in this region,” Geoff said.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Kids helpline 1800 551 800

Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

Originally published as Goolgowi suicides: Town rallies behind Hale family devastated by two deaths