WTF: Silent Cheese, Cheap Tomahawk, Labuan ashes

The constituents of South Barwon have more than 200,000 reasons to expect to see Darren Cheeseman more frequently than the Abominable Snowman.

Have you seen this man? Picture: Alison Wynd.

They’re the little – and sometimes not so little – things that can really irk us. We’ve asked the people of Geelong to point out the problems that irritate and exasperate and have us all saying, woah, that’s frustrating!

Minister for Silence

Darren Cheeseman always was difficult to pin down for an interview. Picture: Mark Wilson.

A key part of a politician’s job is being accountable to the public.

The people, after all, pay the wages.

This point has been well and truly lost on Darren Cheeseman, the South Barwon MP who continues to collect his $206,000 annual pay cheque despite not being sighted at any local announcement or event in almost a year.

We’ve sought an interview many times, not only to inquire about harassment allegations from former staff, but what his priorities as a crossbencher are.

One WTF correspondent had his number blocked after trying, it appears, a little too hard.

A Cheeseman staffer this week made it clear he wasn’t keen for a chat.

“I’ve been instructed that there is no comment,” he said.

Asked if his boss intended to reactivate his website and social media channels.

The response, you guessed it, was: “No comment”.

Like many of Darren Cheeseman’s promises, this one has yet to eventuate. Source: Facebook.

Geelong councillor Andrew Katos, twice defeated by Cheeseman in the Battle of South Barwon, this week said it was time the MP woke from his “slumber”.

“There’s probably more chance of the Abominable Snowman walking down Moorabool St that sighting him,” Katos quipped at Tuesday night’s council meeting.

The tough part for Cheeseman is that to get paid, he needs to front up to parliament, which means he occasionally needs to speak.

He asked Premier Jacinta Allan this zinger last week: “Is government investment keeping up with massive population growth?”

Tomahawk’s fall

The price of Tom Hawkins’ autobiography has been slashed.

Let’s hope longtime star Cat Tom Hawkins isn’t relying on sales from his autobiography to fund a hefty retirement nest egg.

The axe has already been taken to the price of Tomahawk’s book, just months after it hit shelves.

Target is clearing out the self-titled memoir for a bargain basement $8, a far cry from the hardback’s RRP of $50, or even later discounts of around $24.

While the latest price cut might frustrate and disrupt Hawk’s retirement spending, we reckon the ever-popular former Cat’s story now looks to be a big chance to be a sizeable stocking filler for Geelong fans.

Labuan ashes

The charity bin at notorious Labuan Square in Norlane has been burnt to the ground,

The charity bin at Labuan Square in Norlane has been burnt to the ground, but that hasn’t stopped generous locals from depositing items for donation – on top of the ashes, no less.

This is the square that Geelong council spent $400,000 upgrading, and the state government more than $300,000.

At the time, the council spruiked that the streetscape upgrade made Labuan Square a great place for the community to come together.

“Shoppers, traders and children are already enjoying the newly reinvigorated square, together with visitors from the new ferry terminal,” it said.

Pictures taken this week show shops shut and graffiti aplenty, but no one in sight enjoying the amenities.

Towering concerns

Concept picture of the proposed 25m monopole at Bob Pettitt Reserve in Jan Juc.

Sure sure, the Jan Juc and Torquay area is being targeted under the state government’s Connecting Victoria Mobile Program, but dropping a 25m telecommunications tower right on the boundary line of the local footy oval seems like overkill.

One spy doubted there was a Jan Juc location – other than the beach – used by as many people.

It’s the home of the cricket club, playgroup, junior footy training, soccer training and transforms into an unofficial dog park at all other times.

That’s not to mention it’s mere metres away from the kindergarten, tennis club, a playground, skate park and bike jumps track.

The baffling thing is its location is also in one of the lowest spots at the reserve – go figure.

The concept image certainly doesn’t do it any favours.

The Surf Coast Shire has asked ratepayers for feedback, with one highlighting that the process seemed redundant because Optus does not need council approval.

Boiling bear

Pako Festa 2025. Multi-Cultural Festival. Pakington Street Geelong. Picture: Phil Yeo

Talk about drawing a short straw for the big bear.

In a patriotic effort worthy of a lifetime supply of vodka, a member of the local Russian community donned a bear costume for last weekend’s Pako Festa.

With the temperature exceeding the hottest day ever recorded in Moscow, we can safely say that whoever was brave enough to be the bear would’ve needed a cold shower.

Ru OK? Geelong councillor Anthony Aitken shared this photo of the Russian bear on Facebook.

Event organisers sensibly called an early end to the festival due after the stifling conditions led to paramedics being “run off of their feet”, as Cultura chief executive Joy Leggo put it.

There were no reports of an 8-foot bear needing treatment.

Originally published as WTF: Silent Cheese, Cheap Tomahawk, Labuan ashes