Bad parking, naughty van lifers, stupid scootering and cabana chaos at Geelong region beaches

Bad behaviour at the beach and some head-scratching sculptures in this week’s edition of Geelong grumpy gripes.

Methods of travelling to and from the beach are getting more creative in Torquay.

They’re the little – and sometimes not so little – things that can really irk us. We’ve asked the people of Geelong to point out the problems that irritate and exasperate and have us all saying, woah, that’s frustrating!

SHORE LOSERS

Ah, summer time. The sun is shining, the barbecues are sizzling and the beach is … total chaos.

The annual surge to Geelong region shores seems to be supercharged this season and some beachgoer behaviour has been more annoying than a sizeable serving of sand in your Speedos.

WTF has witnessed and been told of many acts of seaside selfishness.

How’s the serenity? A jam-packed Torquay surf beach.

With carparking at a premium, some drivers have simply invented their own spaces, turning nature strips, garden beds and any available slice of land into a park.

An explosion in “van lifers” has also hit the coast, with a wave of the converted vehicles descending on the region. While the romantic notion of the vans is one of freedom and independence, there’s a great deal of ubiquity, thanks to social media, with many of the white hulls indistinguishable from the next – surfboards, awnings, yoga mats and dream catchers hanging from the mirror.

"Van lifers" at Torquay, where it looked like someone had repeatedly hit Ctrl C, Ctrl V.

Many van lifers also seem to blatantly disregard the “no camping” signs and officials appear to make no effort to stop or fine them for extended overnight stays.

E-scooters are rampant, too – one Torquay local snapped a rider speeding across the main road through town, with no helmet and a slab of beer as a makeshift seat.

An e-scooter rider using a slab of beer as a seat zooms across the Surf Coast Highway at Torquay.

A summer driver on the Ocean Road also had a mishap with emergency services rushing to an oil spill on Thursday. Yep, 80 litres of – wait for it – cooking oil, splashed across the famed drive near Lorne.

Seems like some holiday-makers might be missing out on their crab cakes this weekend.

Seagulls in Torquay, however, weren’t missing out, as someone dumped an entire serving of fish, chips and potato cakes at Cosy Corner. Why just litter when you can also waste food?

WTF: A discarded serving of fish, chips and potato cakes at Torquay.

Meanwhile, on the beach itself, the use of cabanas to reserve a spot on the sand – an act even our PM labelled “un-Australian” – appears to also have made an appearance on our shores.

It’s all enough to make you want to draw the blinds, pop on the AC and just stay at home with a good book.

ENDLESS SPAN OF TIME

Dismantling this little structure at Rippleside beach is obviously a bridge too far for the team of engineers at Geelong council.

Sign up at Rippleside park bridge in August.

It’s been almost five months since WTF was told the mini bridge, which has carried a warning sign for countless weeks, was destined for the graveyard.

“The footbridge at Rippleside Park was built in 1987, and it’s now at the end of its life,” City of Greater Geelong executive director of city infrastructure James Stirton said back in August.

“The bridge is on a secondary section of path, and there is still pedestrian connectivity through the area via the primary path. We are currently investigating options to reinstate the secondary path, providing a cost-effective, safe and accessible solution for the community.”

But while the “bridgework ahead” sign is still taking pride of place, the bridge has become a hive of recent activity.

One frustrated and creative waterfront walker, no doubt walking around it daily, went to a lot of effort to add a “sculpture” note to the sign.

The tiny bridge at Rippleside and its new addition.

Perhaps they were inspired by the council’s new sculptural addition at the entrance to Rippleside Park.

Or maybe they weren’t expecting council action anytime soon, seeing time has stood still at the CoGG as staff wait for the arrival of the delayed community calendar.

But suddenly on Thursday, the “sculpture” tag was gone, although there is still no sign of council work ahead.

PISCATORIAL PIECE’S PRICETAG?

Is it a bird? Is it a fish or some other mystery creature?

The new sculpture that has landed at Rippleside Park has certainly kept locals busy pondering what it actually represents.

The somewhat ambiguous sculpture at Rippleside.

Well, the official word from the council is that it’s an abstract fish.

“We’re excited to have delivered Momenta, developed by artists and designers Geoff Trensky and Tony Gilevsky,” the council revealed on its website.

“The abstract fish sculpture marks the start of the scenic drive into central Geelong, a key arrival point, and acknowledges the unique features of the site.

“The sculpture is part of the Arrivals Indicators project, which aims to ease navigation and reinforce key destinations that link the entrance to our region with central Geelong.”

It said Momenta was inspired by the rhythmic ebb and flow of Corio Bay.

“The Arrival Indicators project is funded through the Geelong City Deal, a collaborative partnership to transform Geelong and the Great Ocean Road by the Australian and Victorian governments, and the City of Greater Geelong through the Revitalising Central Geelong Action Plan,” the council said.

But the big question among locals dodging unfixed road potholes and waiting for other requests to council to be completed? What did it cost?

Originally published as Bad parking, naughty van lifers, stupid scootering and cabana chaos at Geelong region beaches