‘I am a complete pig’: Joel Creasey revels diet secret

He got seriously ripped for a magazine cover shoot. Now, Nova comedian Joel Creasey has revealed his new relaxed approach to eating.

What I have discovered since I’ve given up the strict diet of a Men’s Health cover model and the insane gym regimen that comes with it is that I truly am a complete pig.

I’ve taken to going from bakery to bakery during my holidays as if I’m some New York club kid going from party to party.

If someone mentions a bakery is doing a mean beesting doughnut I’ll be there at 7am, queuing up, but pretending I just “happened” to arrive.
Or a North Melbourne bakery famous for its indulgent and rich lasagne pies: I’ve clocked three this break.

I am discovering the delights of Melbourne when we are, bizarrely, the only state not in heavy lockdown. I’m doing all the things that friends were doing when we had strict restrictions imposed.

Nova comedian Joel Creasey is taking a relaxed approach to his diet after undertaking a body overhaul.

I’m eating baked goods, bingeing trash TV, debating whether or not to bleach my hair.

I was so excited to be a cover model a month ago and although it was an incredibly weird experience I was devastated this month when they updated their social media with me no longer on the cover.

Vin Diesel has replaced me?! Um, rude. But I get it: back to normal programming.

People think I must be some beacon of health. A regular Michelle Bridges.

That could not be further from the truth. I’m writing this having barely moved a muscle since the photo was taken. I blame lockdowns, work and the fact I have zero motivation since there hasn’t been the looming dread of a shirtless cover.
Why go to the gym if nobody is going to document my every movement? I have, however, discovered other ways I enjoy to work out. Like before bed I discuss with my partner every part of my day from the way the barista at our cafe looked at me to which pores on my nose I think are larger than others.

I’ve also been on a break from my radio job so I’ve had even more time to walk around the house musing things from the colour of our bedroom walls to the fact I think Harry Potter and I probably wouldn’t have been friends at school (over-achiever, not my style).

The takeaway from this is I have no friends whose holidays line up with mine.

And, even given I can travel further than 5km from my home, I’m far happier eating a vanilla slice in bed watching TV.

Now I really need to wash these sheets.

Originally published as ‘I am a complete pig’: Joel Creasey revels diet secret