Edwina Bartholomew: How I’m going to explain the bad things in the world to my kids

Raise resilient kids by helping them to process the inescapable doom and gloom of the 24/7 news cycle, Edwina Bartholomew says after announcing she is expecting her second child.

I’ve been very emotional lately. Firstly, I just found out that I am pregnant with our second child and, as many of you would know, the hormones make you feel like you are living inside a tumble dryer. Secondly, there’s just a lot going on, isn’t there? Too much most days.

How about you? Are you OK? I imagine the answer for most of us is probably, no. This pandemic has affected everyone in one way or another and we are all just trying to get by financially and emotionally.

I read the news on TV every day for a living. I also read the paper every day and subscribe to umpteen number of news websites and, although I risk getting told off for saying so, even I want to turn off. If Covid wasn’t enough, add climate change to the mix, and the devastating humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan, and it’s all just too much.

It used to be as simple as literally switching off the TV. That’s what my mum and dad used to do, but then we didn’t live in a 24/7 news cycle. The first big event I really remember was September 11, 20 years ago next month. I was in Year 12. We watched the pictures on the late news and then our school held an assembly to try to make sense of the events we had just witnessed. By then I was old enough to process it.

Edwina has announced on breakfast television that she is pregnant with her second child. Picture: Richard Dobson

Kids nowadays don’t have that luxury. They are seeing those global events unfold in real time and it’s no longer an option to tune out entirely. Kids are living through Covid; they want to understand what is going on, why they can’t see their friends, why they can’t go to school and when it will be over. This week, they have also seen the pictures in Afghanistan and are struggling to understand that level of catastrophe.

So how do we deal with it and how do we help our kids process what is going on in the world? Hugh Van Cuylenburg is a father of two and the author of The Resilience Project. He says we need to be smart as adults and wary of the doom and gloom we are exposing ourselves to every day.

“Your mood will be affecting your child, whatever age they are. The most powerful way to influence their behaviour is to change yours,” he says.

“Help them understand what they are feeling and then let them know you feel it too. We can’t control the problem but we can help them let go of their worry.”

Hugh has a few more ideas that might provide a quick fix in your house. Always have music on – it provides a good distraction from the news and the dreaded daily press conferences. Find something that is guaranteed to make you laugh – cat videos, people tripping over, whatever floats your boat – and watch it with your kids. Lastly, before you go to bed, ask your children what they are looking forward to tomorrow.

Finally – focus on the good news. For us, it’s a new baby. It sometimes feels like an uncertain time to be bringing a child into the world but, as they say, this too shall pass.

Originally published as Edwina Bartholomew: How I’m going to explain the bad things in the world to my kids