BossLady: Four signs you’re working with a bully

Workplace bullies chip away in subtle ways until co-workers think it’s normal and it becomes part of the culture. See what signs to look out for.

If you’re enduring passive aggressive putdowns from co-workers you may, in fact, be a victim of workplace bullying.

A clever and cunning person will express themselves in a way that makes you uncomfortable and doesn’t sit right but leaves you wondering if it’s breaching HR rules.

Barbs are delivered with attitude to create an underlying sense that if you speak up against them, they will attack you.

It sparks a fear to speak up, a fear to participate, fear to have an idea for yourself or to be different.

Passive-aggressive bullying at work can leave employees feeling isolated and in fear of speaking up.

They chip away in a subtle way until co-workers think it’s normal and it becomes part of the workplace culture.

I commonly see sarcastic comments or subtle attacks that are followed by a laugh or disguised as a joke. And people think, “I don’t believe that’s funny”, and move on before realising someone is actually humiliating or bullying them.

Here are some ways bullies disguise inappropriate conduct:

• Making you feel inadequate by subtly insinuating your ideas are silly, or not encouraging you to speak up

• Playing the victim so you don’t feel you can celebrate any successes at work or home

• Stealing your ideas and throwing you under the bus to your boss, or

• Disguising snide remarks as jokes.

Gossiping in the office can be a divide and conquer strategy from bullies.

Often the biggest gossip in the office is the biggest bully because they are trying to gather dirt they can use against everyone. It’s a divide and conquer strategy.

Co-workers worry they’ll reveal too much about themselves and fear what the gossiper may be saying about them.

DEALING WITH IT

Try to ignore the person and have as little to do with them as possible. If you don’t give their bullying oxygen, it can’t survive.

If this isn’t possible, see your boss. Arm yourself with evidence because proof is the most powerful tool for creating change.

It’s important for bosses to train all generations on what is right and wrong and how to handle it.

* Amanda Rose is the founder of Small Business Women Australia, a key mentor and career adviser. Visit amandarose.com.au

Originally published as BossLady: Four signs you’re working with a bully