'Husband asked if I could do this one thing for our wedding: I refused'

“I’ve never done it before, so why start now?”

Laura Jackel

4 min read

August 1, 2024 - 7:43PM

Image: iStock

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Planning a wedding can be a whole lot of fun but it can also be a whole lot of stress, as one bride is finding out in the lead up to her big day.

The 26-year-old bride-to-be posted on the AITA Reddit forum after her fiance made some demands about how she should look on the day, which she was not expecting given her history.

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"My face is my face"

“I do not wear makeup,” the young woman begins.

“I experimented with it as a teen but I hate the way it feels on my face and I just don’t really see the point. My face is my face and I think it’s a good one as is.

“My fiancé has never complained and has always said that I look beautiful without makeup. His mother and sisters think it’s weird but no longer comment on it as I drew a very firm line in the sand about it early on.”

With this in mind, it was surprising to the bride when her lack of interest in makeup suddenly became a very big deal once wedding planning got underway.

“ I’ve picked out a dress and am making arrangements for a hair stylist and such for the big day. My MIL said she would call a friend of hers that is a wonderful makeup artist and would probably cut us a deal. I said no thanks, I wasn’t planning on makeup for the wedding as I never wear it.

“She tried to insist, saying that I would regret not wearing it when I saw the photos, but I held firm. I’ve seen myself in prom dresses and other fancy occasion pictures and have never wished I had worn makeup. The most I’m going to do is get a spa treatment so my skin looks its best.”

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"I told him 'no'"

This response went down like a lead balloon and while an upset mother in law was one thing, the woman did not expect her partner to get involved.

“He asked if I would just wear make-up for the ceremony and pictures. I told him I want to look at my pictures and see me. He said it would still be me just ‘the best version of me’.

“This p****d me off, not going to lie, so I asked him if he was going to wear makeup to look like ‘the best version’ of himself. He said no, so I told him that I will make him a deal: the only way I would wear makeup is if he also wore makeup.”

The bride’s cheeky request was also not well received with the groom feeling upset that she was being unreasonable leading to him “storming off” in despair.

The rest of the family then got involved on both sides of the debate.

“My sister in law sent me a text telling me I was delusional if I didn’t think I needed makeup and to suck it up for one day, but most of my girlfriends are on my side.

She concluded the post by asking if she was being too precious about it, as her brother said her conditions were “emasculating” to her fiancé.

"So many red flags"

Thousands of people weighed into the comments with many feeling the groom’s behaviour was a big red flag.

“You’re about to marry a dude who lets the opinions of his mother and sister affect his relationship,” said one poster with clear feelings.

“Why do you need to appease his mother on YOUR wedding day? Why are the demands and wishes of his mother and sister more important than yours?”

A second poster had a different approach with a similar sentiment: “I always wear makeup. My husband told me I don't need it. I told him I don't care, I like it and I will wear it. He never said another word about it.

“She has every right NOT to wear it, the same as I have the right to wear it without comments from anyone!”

"You need to talk this out"

Finally one sensible poster had some good advice as a way to get through this (potential) blip.

“Your not the a*****e , but you better have a marriage counselling session with your fiance ASAP.

“You need to talk this out and make it very clear that his comments aren't ok.

“Even more so that his sister's comments are disgusting and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wearing makeup.

“You need to have a sit down with your fiance and make it clear that his family do not get to make inappropriate comments about your body or looks. He needs to be defending you and telling then to stop.

“You and your feelings, your wants, your happiness should be his first priority.”