‘Your kids are not special’: Teacher slams parents raising entitled children

“We have messed up what kids understand about where they fit in the world … and that’s a problem.” 

The teacher thinks there's something wrong with today's kids. Picture: lisaconselatore/TikTok

A teacher has slammed parents who think their children are the “most important person in any room”, arguing it’s damaging their futures.

Lisa Conselatore has been a teacher for nearly 30 years, and with more than 24 years working as a teacher in the US and three years abroad, she’s seen pretty much everything you’d expect.

But in recent years, she said there’s been an enormous change in children’s attitudes, sparked by the COVID-19 lockdowns and online schooling. 

But Lisa doesn’t believe the pandemic was the issue: it’s the parents.  

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“I know your kids are special to you, they’re not the most special person ever”

“I don’t want to hear that the problem with kids these days is COVID,” she said in the clip. 

“I don’t want to hear it, because it’s not the problem. The problem is cultural.”

Sitting in her car, she explained the reason why children’s behaviour has changed so drastically, and it has nothing to do with what is going on in the classroom.

“We have raised children to think that they are absolutely the most important person in any room,” she said.

“They are so special that whatever they want to do, or whatever they think, or whatever they say is the most important thing in that moment.

“And they can just say it.” 

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This is true even if an adult is talking, she added, with children believing that “what they have to say is what must be heard.” 

“And that’s a problem,” she said. 

The American teacher said it’s not just bad to let children behave this way, but it can actually impact their futures and et them up for failure. 

“It’s a disservice to raise children like that,” she said. “To raise children to think they are the most special people there is.” 

Parents shouldn’t believe their children are special, she continued.  

“I know your children are special to you,” Lisa said. “I know that. My children are special to me.”

“But none of them is the most special person ever, in the room, at any time. They’re not.” 

“Nobody is,” she added. “Because we live in a society.” 

It’s a prerequisite to treat others with respect and kindness when living in a society, she explained, meaning people should inherently want to pay respect to others, whether they know them or not. 

“We all have to get along and we all have to respect one another,” she said. 

“Part of respecting one another is recognising when you have a contribution to make, and when you need to sit there and open your ears.” 

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This lack of respect begins in the house, she continued, with parents allowing their children to act as “equals” rather than as children 

“We have messed up what kids understand about where they fit in the world, where they fit into the family,” she said. 

And those who act as a friend rather than a parent may end up shifting the power dynamic in the house.

“You’re not in charge, 'cause you’re all equal,” she said. “If you’re all equal, you’re not in charge. They’re also in charge.” 

This attitude then trickles into the classroom, she warned. 

“They come into the classroom and they think they’re in charge, and they’re not,” Lisa scolded. 

So, what can be done about it? Like all good teachers, Lisa had the answer. 

“Teach them when to listen, taking a turn to speak,” she advised. “Speak when it’s appropriate, when you have something to say and it’s your turn. 

“Let’s reevaluate our family cultures, our community cultures, and our larger society cultures.

“Because this is not working, not working.” 

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She said the problem begins at home. Picture: lisaconselatore/TikTok

“Teachers have become babysitters”

The video, which has amassed over 500,000 views, sparked a fierce debate about the state of children’s attitudes.

Teachers couldn’t help but agree with Lisa’s gripe, applauding her for “speaking the truth” about the state of classrooms.

“Every time I give an activity, I hear ‘I don’t want to do this,’” wrote an educator. “When has that ever been an option at school?”

“I thought I was alone,” another added. “I am just exhausted by the end of the week. Kids don't really want to learn, either. Teachers have become babysitters.”

“First-year teacher and I think it will be my last,” said a third. “I love my students but I just can’t imagine doing this for the rest of my career.” 

Some took a swipe at gentle parenting, arguing it was the root of the issue. 

“My biggest gripe with what some call gentle parenting,” read a comment. “That the whole world is gonna stop to deal with their feelings and what they have to say.”

“Parents have misunderstood what gentle parenting is about,” added a childcare worker. 

But a wave of parents shared their support for Lisa’s rant, and showed the ways they were bucking the trend. 

“I always tell my boys you are no more special than the other person, but you’re just as special as that other person,” said another.

“Everyone acts like I'm abusing or neglecting my child by not allowing that behaviour,” said another. 

“I've felt terrible telling my teens they are no better than anybody else,” confessed another. “They may be more loved but they still have to give respect to others.”

Originally published as ‘Your kids are not special’: Teacher slams parents raising entitled children