‘We have a newborn and my husband accused me of taking away his freedom’

“When he goes out with mates, he says he needs to feel the atmosphere of the night before he can decide when he comes home,” the exhausted mum says.

The time after you have a new baby is family cocoon time.

The mum needs to recuperate from the exhausting work of giving birth, and if it’s your first child, you’re just learning how to feed the baby, change their nappies, and get them to sleep.

That’s why mums in many cultures have a confinement period, during which they’re cared for, cooked for, and given lots of time to rest.

And even if confinement periods aren’t a part of your culture, those first few weeks as a new family is important bonding time.

Whatever your new baby rituals, Corena’s* husband is all about taking care of dad.

Their baby daughter spent two weeks in the NICU and had only been home for a week when he started going out drinking with his mates again.

“Before I was pregnant he used to go to his soccer games (and more importantly drinking afterwards), twice per week and he went running on Sunday and/or on his day off for hours on end,” she wrote in a Reddit post.

He was so busy, some weeks the couple only say each other for a few minutes when they went to bed.

“When I was pregnant I asked him to scale back his soccer/drinking to once a week and to plan his runs closer to home so he’s not gone an entire day.”

It took a lot of arguing and drama, but finally he agreed. Then the baby came.  

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Corena was at home with her new baby while her husband went out drinking. Photo: iStock

Husband accuses wife of taking away freedom with newborn

Corena and the baby had been home for a week when her husband decided to go back to his old ways.

“He was home from work for two hours before he left to a barbeque with his friends at 7pm. I asked when he would be home and he said ‘Before 1am at the latest’.”

Corena asked him to come home before 10pm and she thought he agreed, but at 11pm, he still hadn’t returned.

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“He believes I take away his freedom when I ask him to let me know when he will be home. He needs to ‘feel the atmosphere of the night’ before he can decide when he will be home.”

“He said taking care of my needs during pregnancy has pushed him to the edge of a burn out,” she said.

“During pregnancy he threatened to leave me if he would not be allowed to do whatever he wants once the baby arrived.”

One commenter on Reddit summed up all 300 comments when they said, “He’s showing you who he is, and that’s not a father or a partner.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘We have a newborn and my husband accused me of taking away his freedom’