Parents who expect a full meal at a kid's party are delusional

“There was a fully stuffed grazing board and birthday cake. You’re lucky to get anything, mate.”

Ahhh, children’s parties.

Who doesn’t love a room of 30 children running around screaming as they rub blue icing into your pants, smear hundreds and thousands dye all over their lips, The Wiggles blaring from the speakers as you try to have conversations punctuated by toddlers begging to be picked up and put down, opening drinks and stopping your child from pulling the table cloth (and the whole tabletop of cups and food) off the table?

Love them or hate them, as a parent, they are going to be something we need to deal with for many years to come.

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Planning a party

If there’s one thing more stressful than navigating a kid’s party, it’d probably be planning one.

There’s finding the perfect venue that doesn’t require a small bank loan to hire, sending invites, entertainment and, of course, the food.

I was recently invited to a first birthday party at 2 pm, which to me signified it wasn’t lunch or dinner, but afternoon tea.

We ate lunch before the party and expected light refreshments like cakes and coffee for the adults and perhaps sandwiches and cupcakes, fruit and chips for the kids. 

When we arrived at the party, I was blown away by the incredible grazing table spread of fresh fruits, crackers, cheeses, cookies, olives, cold meats, sausage rolls, mini pies, sandwiches and cupcakes– ample amounts of food for the number of guests.

Mixed reviews

Having eaten lunch beforehand, I was happy picking from the grazing table but heard a few people ask if any other food was coming.

I also had a conversation with a family member twenty years older than me who said grazing boards weren’t filling and the party planner should have provided more hearty food options. 

We ended up having a pretty heated discussion that it was implied to not come to the party starving, given it was a 2 pm start, and while we new parents want to celebrate our children and their special days, the current costs of hosting a party are pretty ridiculous, and we do the best we can.

“Well, you shouldn’t have a party then,” she adamantly replied. 

I told her I disagreed, decided I wouldn’t continue the conversation, and walked away.

RELATED: I'm so glad my daughter won't remember her first birthday party

I mean, look out this spread!

Is a grazing board sufficient?

I decided to conduct my own research into whether my thinking fell into the majority or minority and it appears there isn’t one camp more popular than the other.

One dad said, “From a man's perspective, I always feel odd at those grazing tables because I feel like people will judge me if I grab enough to actually feed myself properly.”

However, this was contrasted by one woman who responded by saying, “Guys don't understand that gals can eat charcuterie as a meal.”

A mum of three boys told me, “I always time my parties either after breakfast/before lunch or in the late afternoon before dinner. People should eat their meals and not rely on a party.”

And once again, a mum of two said she and her husband believed, “If you leave a party hungry, it's not a good party.”

“I’m done”

I followed up with the mum of said party and thanked her for inviting us to celebrate with her, and she told me she had decided it would be the first and last party she hosted.

“I felt like 99% were understanding that the food provided was afternoon tea,” she told Kidspot.

“It wasn’t like I skimped out on the food; there was so much, and we replenished it throughout the party, and it was never empty.

“But it was that 1% who really made me feel like I didn’t throw a good party for my daughter, and it kind of spoiled the day for me.

“When it comes to parties in the future, I’m done.”

RELATED: I'm worried my 8yo is too old to have a Bluey-themed party

A delicious array of food on offer.

The pressure of throwing a party

A Real Insurance survey revealed more than 7 in 10 parents think social media and celebrities have put more pressure on parents to throw visually impressive parties they can share with others online.

Growing up in the 90s, it was more common than not to go to a birthday party in someone’s backyard. Nowadays, most young parents are living in an apartment and need to look elsewhere to host their kids’ parties.

Everything is so expensive, but we also don’t want our kids missing out on celebrating milestones.

Perhaps a controversial opinion, but it also could be a little unfair that we spend hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars a year buying gifts for the many (so many) kids’ friends' parties not to be able to put your own child in the spotlight on their birthday.

To all of this, I say, let’s bring back the Macca’s party!

Originally published as Parents who expect a full meal at a kid's party are delusional