My wife asked me to cancel my boys' trip to help with the baby, but I refused

“I told her that I’d gladly return the favour on a trip if she wanted to plan one, and encouraged her to do so,” Mitchell explains in the post.

Alexandra Feiam

3 min read

August 7, 2023 - 7:18AM

Mitchell intended to go on the golf holiday, despite Grace asking him to reconsider. Source: iStock

Family Life

Don't miss out on the headlines from Family Life. Followed categories will be added to My News.

It’s been about one year since Grace* and Mitchell* welcomed their baby into the world.

Five months into parenting, Mitchell began planning a golf trip with a bunch of his friends.

The holiday wouldn’t happen for another six months, but the guys agreed the trip would take two days and three nights.

Mitchell intended to go on the golf holiday, despite Grace asking him to reconsider. Source: iStock

Wife asked husband to stay home from boys' trip to help with the baby

According to Reddit, the American asked his wife if he could attend the trip, given she would be alone with the baby while he was gone.

“She gave me approval, and I began to plan,” he said, booking flights and an Airbnb, which cost him about $1,000.

Flash forward five months later, and Mitchell was prepping for the big trip.

Grace, still breastfeeding at the time, was experiencing issues with their son, who “was in the midst of a sleep regression, and he was waking up several times each night.”

Despite Mitchell's best efforts, the baby would only “accept” his mum during these times. “As a result, she was left doing all of the tendings to him during the nights,” he said.

Together, they “coordinated help” to take care of the baby while Mitchell was gone, but Grace "wasn’t comfortable” with another person watching over their son, leaving her alone to handle the tasks.

Days before the trip, Grace approached Mitchell and told him she didn’t want him to go on the trip anymore.

She explained he “needed to stay home because she was afraid it would be too much for her alone.”

But Mitchell couldn’t cancel the trip, as he had committed to the flights and room booking. This didn’t go down well with Grace.

“I told her that I’d gladly return the favour on a trip if she wanted to plan one and encouraged her to do so,” he wrote. Despite Grace’s wishes, Mitchell went on his trip with the boys.

“During my trip, she sent me texts and called me, very upset,” Mitchell explained. “When I returned home, we had another argument about it. We’ve since reconciled, but I know her stance on it has not changed, nor has mine.”

“If my wife asked me to stay home, I absolutely would…”

The golf trip was met with strong support for Mitchell.

“Parents often feel guilty leaving their kids, they don’t need to feel guilty for leaving their partners, too,” someone reasoned.

“That’s just way too much money to blow,” wrote another supporter. “If she came up a few weeks before, she could have come up with a question for help or a solution.”

“A weekend away shouldn't hurt,” read a comment. “Tell her to suck it up, buttercup.”

But others “played the devil’s advocate” in the situation.

“I will say that to some women breastfeeding alone can cause heightened anxiety and postpartum depression,” someone advised. “Add no sleep, first child and being alone can definitely add unnecessary stress. It’s not that she can’t do it, it’s that she is scared of all the unknown.”

“Not everyone has family or friends close by, and not everyone can afford to pay for their family/friends to come to them,” another wrote. “If she feels she can't do it on her own and it scares her, perhaps she shouldn't be left alone for even three days.”

“I’d be mad if my husband wanted to blow that much money after just having a child or considering leaving for days,” said another.

“If my wife asked me to stay home, I absolutely would because I know my wife would only ask me if she really needed me to stay home,” someone agreed.

*Names have been changed