My kid just ‘watched’ for her first two swimming lessons without getting wet

"I couldn't believe money was being spent just for the kid to watch - I would just make my kid go in!” the mum was told - but what do you think of her reason?

My daughter sat on the side of the swimming pool for her first few swimming lessons. And I’m okay with that. 

I recently heard a friend laughing about a parent in her child’s swimming lessons who “let her kid just sit and watch” during a swimming lesson. 

"I couldn't believe the parent was spending money just for their kids to watch - there's no way I would do that - I would just make my kid go in!”

That's what she said. I didn't say anything to her at the time. Honestly, it didn’t bother me. 

Well, it still doesn't 'bother' me - everyone has different options. 

But just a couple of months later I found myself in the exact same position as that parent.

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I was paying for my child to sit on the side of the pool

All of a sudden I was paying for my child to “just sit on the side of the pool”. 

My very reserved, cautious four-year-old girl has just started swimming lessons. She did them when she was a baby for a short while but then covid got in the way and we are only just starting back. 

She has never been a fan of the water. And most definitely doesn't like strangers. 

I knew it might take some getting used to.  But I still didn't expect to be THAT parent. 

So here we are, a few weeks in and she is still just sitting in the side of the pool. The first lesson she went to, it took a good 20 mins before she even put her toes in the water. 

Initially, I felt quite frustrated. Embarrassed. Concerned. What would the other parents think? Should I just make her go in? Do we bribe? Do we punish her for not listening and getting in?

These were just some of the thoughts that went through my head. 

But instead of doing anything, my husband reassured me that we were doing the right thing. We were going at her pace…ensuring she feels safe and comfortable. 

Image: IStock

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"Only parents know what is best. I'm glad I didn't push her"

Now she actually hops in and sits on the side. Watching. Getting splashed. Sometimes smiling at what is happening. 

We talk about it with her and encourage her. And she is getting there, slowly. 

And then she said to me on the way home one day… "I think I'll be comfortable enough to go in properly next week Mum". 

And I knew at that moment that we had made the right decision for my daughter. And I don't care what the teacher, the parents or anyone else thinks. (Mind you, they have all been so lovely at our local swimming school). 

But it reminded me that only parents know what is best. I know that if I pushed my daughter to go in any sooner, she would have had huge anxiety about swimming. Instead, she looks forward to it each week. 

She is progressing at the pace that feels right to her. 

We just sit back and let the teacher do their job. Never forcing. Only encouraging and talking about it before and after classes with our daughter. 

So to all the other mums out there ‘paying for their child to sit on the side of the pool’ - I see you and can relate. 

Our kids are so clever, they know their boundaries and what they are capable of. Our job is to encourage and help them feel safe. 

Originally published as My kid just ‘watched’ for her first two swimming lessons without getting wet