'My in-laws give my four-year-old Coke and don't see the problem'

"Don’t be silly my father-in-law says, laughing as if I'm completely crazy," the concerned mum tells Kidspot.

When I hear my girlfriends talk about their in-laws it becomes quite clear, that in comparison, mine are pretty good.  

We get along well; they are actively involved with their grandchildren but are also conscious of how each of their own adult children parent and they try not to intervene with this.

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They have been especially generous with our family, babysitting our son a few times each week. This is something they have done ever since he was two when I went back to work part-time, and to say we are grateful for this would be an understatement.

While we have been lucky to have them and have had a very smooth run, recently there have been a few bumps in the road... bumps in the form of Coke.

A recent incident has left me unsettled. Image: IStock

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Full cans in one sitting

Not long after our son, *Hamish turned three, I noticed that the Melamine cup he always used at his grandparent's house had remnants of Coke in it. At first, I wondered whether they had mistakenly poured it into his cup, or maybe they even used his cup themselves but when I mentioned it, they said they had given a cup of Coke to Hamish.

“He saw us drinking it and wanted to try,” they said.

When I replied politely that Coke had far too much caffeine and sugar for a three-year-old, their reply left me flabbergasted.

“Don’t be silly,” my father-in-law said dismissively, laughing as if what I’d said was completely crazy.

His tone and his words were very unlike him but by the expression on my mother-in-law’s face when she heard him, it was clear she was in support of his actions and that according to them that I was overreacting.

At the time I wasn’t sure what else to say so didn’t say anything but mentioned it to my husband when I got home.

While we were both in agreement that giving Coke to Hamish wasn’t ideal and that their reaction was quite assertive for them, so we decided that it was best to leave it and hope that it was a once-off.

But it wasn’t. Over the next few months, it became more and more frequent, until nearly every day when I picked him up it was clear that he had been drinking it. 

Eventually, after Hamish turned four this built up to an entire can sitting on his place setting.

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"He was quite buzzed"

While the cups hadn’t altered his behaviour too much, probably because they were quite small in size, when he consumed an entire can of it, I could notice. On these particular days he was quite buzzed I guess you would say.

He would run around more, and it was harder to get him to sleep at the end of the day. He was also moody and just not himself and there was no doubt that it was because of the Coke.

He also began asking us to buy it for him and when we said no, he got upset.

In general, my husband and I aren’t particularly strict with food choices and although we like to keep Hamish’s diet healthy, we aren’t opposed to treats – a cupcake here or there, some ice cream for dessert – that sort of thing. But Coke, well that’s an entirely different thing.

For one, it is like liquid sugar, bad for your teeth in so many ways and then of course there are all the artificial preservatives and colours. But worst of all, in my point of view, is caffeine. 

No child should be given a caffeinated beverage, especially not one as young as three or four. The impact that can have on a child just isn’t safe or healthy and I really wish Hamish wasn’t being given it, especially as often as he is.

But the issue is, we rely on them to watch Hamish and we have no other option, other than increasing his paid childcare which we really can't afford. Plus, other than this one problem, they are great. Hamish loves going there, they always do activities together and I know that they will always keep him safe. 

While I know that this problem isn’t going to be one forever because soon enough he will be at school, I am still concerned that they will continue to give him Coke and worse, that it will become an expectation whenever he does visit and this is something I really don’t want.

*names changed for privacy reasons

Originally published as 'My in-laws give my four-year-old Coke and don't see the problem'