My childhood journal gave me insight into my upbringing and made me feel less guilty about my parenting shortfalls

Things were just different in the 1990s and maybe parents were a little less uptight. 

My older brother turned 50 recently and I was asked to write something for his birthday. 

Needing inspiration, I pulled out an old journal I kept when I was 10 years old to see if I could dig up any memories of us from my childhood. 

Instead, I discovered a few home truths about my mum and dad’s parenting style.

It actually made me feel a little less guilty about my own parenting shortfalls.

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Mel with her family. Image: Supplied

I'd written the journal every weekend for a year (I suspect it was homework, as my teacher had made corrections in the margin), so it painted a pretty clear picture of that period of our family life.

Discovery number one was that we ate A LOT of junk food. 

"We had KFC for lunch today and it was delicious," my 10-year-old self wrote one Saturday.

"Mum and dad took us to Pizza Hut and we had all-you-can-eat. It was amazing,” read the journal entry from the very next day.

Back in the 1990s, it also seemed that the parents were a little more relaxed about what children watched. 

My 10-year-old self recounted watching the 1992 M-rated thriller Candyman, about a murderous soul with a hook for a hand.

Wow, wholesome viewing right there.

RELATED: We spent the weekend like parents of the 90s 

The parents of the 1990s seemed stress free. Image: Supplied

A few weeks later, The Man Without a Face was our family's Friday night movie. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a former teacher suspected of being a paedophile. 

As for the old bedtime routine I've been so hellbent on adhering to with my kids? Well, that didn’t seem to exist in our household in the 1990s, at least not on weekends. 

Sometimes, I’d write in my journal that I stayed up until 10.30pm. Other times, if I was at a sleepover, it could be anywhere from midnight to 3.30am. 

Don't get me wrong, my folks were wonderful parents and I count myself lucky to have had the childhood I had.

Things were just different in the 1990s and maybe parents were a little less uptight. 

After reading my journal, it gave me a new perspective. Suddenly I felt less guilty about feeding my kids baked beans on toast occasionally, or about letting them watch television while I get stuff done around the house.

I think in this day and age, parents put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect. 

There was less pressure to be perfect back then. Image: Supplied

RELATED: Why 90s kids are the most emotionally damaged parents 

To feed their kids perfectly balanced meals three times a day. 

To let them watch just the right amount of television, or none at all, in case it’s to their detriment. 

To put them to bed before 8pm sharp, lest they become possessed the next day.

But the reality is, no parent is perfect. We're all flawed. We're all just trying to do our best and raise decent human beings who aren’t assholes. 

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that kids know they're loved.

Growing up, I certainly knew I was. KFC, Candyman, and all.

Originally published as My childhood journal gave me insight into my upbringing and made me feel less guilty about my parenting shortfalls