'My boyfriend dumped his 3 kids with me for 10 days'

"He just told me this is what's happening," the woman explains. "He didn't ask if it was okay with me."

2 min read

October 2, 2024 - 3:32PM

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"My boyfriend and I live together and have been together for a year and a half. I have one four-year-old daughter, he has three kids that are here every other week, ages seven, 10, and 14," a mum-of-one begins her post on Reddit.

"The seven-year-old and 10-year-old have behavioural issues and ADHD. They are quite a handful for me, who's adjusting to life with four kids when they're over. And I've had trouble bonding with them. I've caught the 10-year-old stealing from me a few times, and the seven-year-old is super hyperactive and needs consistent attention and he's super loud."

Her boyfriend just told her he's leaving on a 10-day work trip, and five of these days his kids will be with her. As in, he is just dumping them with her without asking.

"He just told me this is what's happening," the woman explains. "He didn't ask if it was okay with me."

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"I'm dreading it"

When she asked why she was the last person to know, when she should be the first because she'll be watching his kids, he told her referring to them as 'HIS' and not 'OURS' is "toxic."

She continued: "He volunteered to be one of the guys that goes for this work trip.

"I'm dreading these five days watching all four kids. It's an absolute madhouse and I'm still trying to adjust to this new life with four kids as we haven't lived together long."

She then concluded her post by asking: "Am I the a**hole for wanting his kids to stay at their mothers for those five days? Or for him to come home on the week they come?"

Image: iStock

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"Dumping his responsibility on someone"

Commenters almost unanimously sided with the mum, saying that the boyfriend should have asked her, at the very least.

"You aren't their parent. They should stay with their mum those days if he's out of town," one of the top comments read.

"This is something that should have been discussed."

"The purpose of the kids being there is to spend time with their father, while he is actually parenting. If he isn't home, there is no point," a second wrote.

A third replied: "His custody time is for him to spend with his kids. They aren't coming over to see you (no offence). I can't imagine their mother would be thrilled with him dumping his responsibility on someone he's only been with for 18 months.

"He needs to either speak to the kid's mother and shift his custody weeks, arrange alternative childcare, or tell work that he cannot attend due to having to parent his kids. Do not back down on this."