My 16yo invited her boyfriend for a sleepover. I bought her condoms

"This is how you parent," the mum said, but commenters slammed her for "enabling" her teen's sex life.

3 min read

June 8, 2023 - 1:45PM

High School

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A woman has sparked heated debate in a parenting Facebook group for admitting she bought her 16-year-old daughter condoms for an upcoming sleepover with her boyfriend.

The sex-positive mum explained that she knew they'd have sex anyway, so she wanted to ensure they were safe while doing so.

But other parents deemed the mum's behaviour 'inappropriate' and said she shouldn't be "enabling" her teen to be sexually active.

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"My daughter took a big sigh of relief"

"My daughter (16yo) asked if her boyfriend could stay the night," the mum begins her post in the Parenting Tips Facebook Group.

She continued: "I knew exactly what this would lead to," and added that she "kept a cool head" and agreed to the sleepover.

"I then proceeded to ask if she wanted me to get some condoms for them. My daughter took a big sigh of relief," she said.

"This is how you parent around the topic of sex.

"After all it’s a natural activity. Nothing taboo about it. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship."

The post has racked up 400 likes and over 500 comments so far.

Image: IStock

"How could you enable this?"

But not everyone was on board with the mum's bold approach.

"This is awful," said one.

"How could you enable this?! What has parenting turned into for Christ's sake?!" said another.

Then this person added: "As an adult looking back at my teenage years, I wish I had a parent that would have advised me to start my sexual life way later and explain to me that there was no rush... and get to know my body better and be sufficiently developed mentally in order to know what to expect from my partner, how to be treated and respected.

"And yeah maybe it’s a 'normal activity' however... at 16 we don’t have all it takes to know what we are getting into."

A different group member took issue with the mum's statement: "This is how you parent around the topic of sex."

They said: "What an ignorant and pompous thing to say. Hope that works out well when you’re raising an additional grandchild for a child you’re unwilling to discipline."

Then someone else wrote: "I'd rather teach her to value and give respect to her body, not to give it to anyone or to her boyfriend because you don't know how it will end up or if they'll stay together."

And then this woman wrote: "I'm not going to allow my children to have sex in my home. I see no issue with providing birth control because if they want to have sex they will find a way, but I'm not going to encourage and allow it.

Image: Facebook

"You're the parent I wish I had when I was a teen"

But some people sided with her and praised the mum's decisions.

"You're right, rather she is at it in your home where you know she's safe than out somewhere that could end up badly," said one.

Another wrote, "You're the parent I wish I had when I was a teen, your daughter will thank you one day."

"Well done!" responded someone else. "Yes, it’s hard for us parents to deal with but your daughter knows she can come to you about anything AND it’s better for them to be in the safety of your home than some dirty public toilets or the back of a car or something."

"People will talk shit about everything you do while parenting. You did good, great and your daughter is so lucky to have you. As a psychologist and sexologist, what you did was amazing," a different woman commented.

And a fifth said, "Those that are saying this is awful need to get a grip. Don’t act like at 16 it’s not completely normal to have sexual urges. This girl is in a relationship and clearly responsible and has a close enough relationship with her mum that she is making a safe choice.

"Keep your sex and women shaming to yourselves, it’s pathetic and outdated. None of you would say this if the person was male."

"Really impressed by the way you handled this, I hope other parents take note," concluded another.