Mums with boys, if you can top this story, I’m sorry

"Also, are you okay?" 

I shared a story on my TikTok recently about a friend who called me with horror story about her boys.

The brothers, as part of their 'play fighting', did some things to each other... and let's just put it this way, their behaviour could get them arrested for hazing if they were tried adults.

My friend was totally emotionally unprepared for this as a mum.

It made me realise, I have not been checking on my friends with boys enough!

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"Farted until he vomited"

So, I put it to my TikTok audience, and they agreed - "Nobody prepared me for this!" as one put it.

The sum of my comments section was that when you put brothers in particular together, they are wriggly and filled with endless energy, which leads to disgusting antics and messy adventures.

Which they think are hilarious, of course.

Let's take this mum, who shared that she found her boys drinking water from each others' butt cracks... she's still traumatized, years later.

Another viewer shared, "My middle son sat on my other son's face and farted until he vomited," and he's not alone, as a second mum recalled a similar story.

Then there was this anecdote: "My younger son bit his brother's willy so hard it nearly circumcised him."

Image: TikTok

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"The Girl Mums entered the chat"

To be clear I don’t think that all boys are this way and all girls are demure little angels either; all kids are unique and are as similar as they are different.

There does seem to be a common thread with the toilet humour related incidents though. Or so I thought.

Until the Girl Mums entered the chat.

“Trust me, girls aren’t much better. My girls will wrestle and fight with each other just as much as boys do!” read one comment.

From there, I was schooled pretty quickly in the funny and feral behaviour of the little girls with sisters, too.

From sticking their feet in each others butts to stories of poo I learned pretty quickly that the most common thread in the gross behaviour game was childhood.

I found school teachers reinforcing this: that boys are particularly busy and rambunctious but the girls in their classrooms could give them a run for their money. They did note though that the little girls weren’t usually so potty humour inclined, though I’d say that comes down more to social conditioning.

"You're not funny, you're dangerous"

One angry mum found my observations offensive, claiming that she thought my video would be about the war our men are facing in public scrutiny right now:

“Disappointed. Here I was thinking she means we need help because of all the anti men sh*t our boys are getting right now. You’re not funny you’re dangerous."

I don’t think so Ma’am. If I see gross behaviour in males I’ll call it out no matter if they’re 2 or 20.

If your sons are facing anti-men rhetoric already I would consider addressing your own values and those that your teaching your sons. Comparing antics of toddler brothers sniffing each others farts is really not the same as defending the trope of boys will be boys in adult men who disrespect.

That’s a different TikTok.

In the end I’m so grateful for my boys. Even when they’re testing my patience or gag reflex.

And to me it’s clear that all kids, boys and girls alike, share a universal knack for turning any mundane moment into something hilariously chaotic.

Originally published as Mums with boys, if you can top this story, I’m sorry