Mum gets backlash for letting 5yo daughter change her name

“We had no problem using this new name, we feel like she has the right to be called what she wants," the mum writes. 

Kids go through phases one day they love something and the next, they never want to hear of it again. Everything from food, colours, clothes, toys, and parents! Kids are fickle creatures! Sometimes they  might even want to change their name. Which for one family, caused quite a stir at a recent gathering. 

Five-year-old *Emma wanted to change her name, (the new name hasn't been shared by the family) and her parents are supporting this decision. 

“We had no problem using this new name, names are personal and we feel like she has the right to be called what she wants. We gave her a fairly uncommon, frilly, older name and she has now chosen a more common short and plain name and it suits her,” the mother shares on Reddit. 

She admits that after the initial shock wore off, most of their family was on board, except for her brother’s wife. At a family reunion, her SIL refused to address her daughter by her ‘new name’, and passively aggressively towards the five-year-old “would roll her eyes.” 

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"She's bullying a child!"

As the party continued, her SIL's behaviour became quite extreme. 

“Completely unprompted, she pulls her own daughter into the middle of the room where we all were and starts going off about how she better not get any ideas, five is too young to make that kind of choice, she's the parent so it's her right to choose their name.

“She also told her kids they didn't have to respect my daughter's new name because it's not real, yet." 

After leaving her family reunion, with no plans to legally change her daughter's name, she wondered if other parents would allow their children to change their name “socially not legally?” 

A mother comforting her child after being scolded by her aunt in front of the family.

"You won’t regret respecting your child"

Overwhelmingly, the response was in support of the daughter's name change, and readers offered advice about how best to move forward with the extended family. 

“I would let my kid be called what they wanted. I called my youngest Pizza for a couple of days before he got tired of it. I think anyone has the right to say “I don’t want to be called that” no matter their age and tell you what they’d prefer to be called. There’s no harm in following her lead," one advised. 

“You’re SIL is being awfully dramatic over a non-issue that doesn’t even affect her life in any way. She’s FIVE, let her be called whatever she wants - maybe she’ll keep it and maybe she won’t. My daughter (six) was Batman for Halloween this year but she also loves princesses and she still insists I call her “Princess Batman” and so I do lol,” another added to the conversation. 

“If it’s a different, relatively normal name then why care so much either way? I’m a teacher and I have plenty of kids who go by shorter names. Hell, I even had one go by their middle name because they didn’t like their first name. I don’t get people getting so bent out of shape over nicknames,” a third shared.

Finally, there was this perspective: “The thing that floored me is the 'she is the parent and she has the right to pick the name'. That is such a massive red flag. A child is an actual person, not just your personal toy.” 

It seems that this incident has fractured the family, especially leading up to the Christmas holidays. 

“I think this calls for a time out until after the holidays. Your sister-in-law needs some time to pull herself back together if she’s coming unglued over a name,” a supporter wrote. 

To which the mother responded saying, “Agreed! My wife and I are considering just shipping our nieces their gifts and avoiding the family getting together.”

Originally published as Mum gets backlash for letting 5yo daughter change her name