'I'd gone through menopause, but I was still able to breastfeed just fine'

"You don’t need to be young and nimble to breastfeed, you just need to produce milk.”

Cindy Lever

4 min read

August 7, 2024 - 12:10PM

Family Life

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It had been 24 years since Karen Gorie had fed a baby, but when she became pregnant again at 52, she couldn’t wait to do it again.

While many women her age were looking forward to an empty nest and becoming a grandma, Karen decided she was ready to become a mum again.

After having her first daughter she chose to adopt an eight-month-old baby from Ethiopia so when she was ready for a third child Karen again applied to adopt but the government stopped the overseas adoption program.

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“I really grieved not being able to continue with that adoption,” she opens up to Kidspot.

She then stumbled upon the option of getting donor eggs.

“I didn’t think there was anything like donor eggs. Then I came across it when I was 51 and thought let’s try this,” she Karen.

“I began looking for eggs in Australia on Facebook groups.”

Karen with her son Christian and her daughter Lotus. Picture: Supplied

"It's excruciating trying to find a donor"

However, the Melbourne mum says this became like a full-time job.

“It’s excruciating trying to find a donor and you have to wait for someone to pick you and go onto the forum every day,” she says.

No one in the Facebook group offered to donate their eggs to Karen.

Then another woman told her about going to South Africa and she immediately began researching.

Wanting to maintain an Ethiopian connection, Karen sought out one of only two Ethiopian sperm donors in the world at a Danish clinic and had the sperm flown to South Africa.

Through an agency she picked an egg donor. She was able to see a little bit of information on each donor and pictures of them as a child or possibly pictures of their children.

"I was guided by what my instincts told me"

Karen decided to choose someone based on their education.

“It’s like baking a cake. You feel a bit strange, but I was guided by what my instincts told me and maybe God,” she explains.

In 2018 at the age of 52 she excitedly jumped on a plane with her adopted daughter, and they had a holiday while having one of the six embryos transferred.

Unfortunately, it didn’t result in a pregnancy, but just a couple of months later, full of hope, she flew to Cape Town again, this time for just a day.

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“I felt very in control. I was very, very positive. I bought a little fluffy dog from an op shop and that was like my omen; I’ve still got it,” the 58-year-old recalls.

Karen waited patiently until her blood test to find out if she was pregnant and when the results came back positive, she was over the moon.

“I was a big adoption person, and I didn’t feel the need to have any children. I never thought I would ever be in that situation of being pregnant again,” she shares.

"How did that happen? It was amazing"

Nine months later when Christian, now five, was born it was a surreal moment.

“I was in a bit of shock when I first had him, it was hard to believe. I thought, how did that happen. It was amazing,” Karen says.

“I was a bit anxious initially when it came to breastfeeding my son, but I was extremely confident and knew I wouldn’t do anything but breastfeed and it turned out to be a piece of cake.

“I felt like I was floating. I couldn’t believe it was happening. It felt completely natural and no different to 24 years earlier. All the same things are happening and it’s not a requirement of age.

"You don’t need to be young and nimble to breastfeed, you just need to produce milk.”

"To have him was a gift"

She laughs recalling one friend who came around and couldn’t believe she was able to breastfeed, given she’d used donor eggs, while others couldn’t understand how she’d got pregnant having been through menopause.

“Breastfeeding for me was a natural part of growing and birthing my child. To have him was a gift. To breastfeed him was a gift; knowing I did the best I could for him getting the milk into him when he was developing,” Karen says.

However, she admits she did feel a bit self-conscious as an older mum breastfeeding in public and tended to avoid it.

Christian now proudly tells people he is half South African and half Ethiopian and Karen ensures his and his sister’s connection with their countries of origin remains strong.

August 1-7 is World Breastfeeding Week. For more information about the week, or how to get involved in one of the official events around the country, click here.