I was more shook than my daughter when she busted the Tooth Fairy

"Why was she acting this way when a childhood myth had been busted? When she just discovered she'd been lied to for a decade?"

Shona Hendley

3 min read

June 5, 2023 - 3:31PM

Image: Supplied

Primary School

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One piece of parenting advice that I have heard from a few people over the years is to use failures as teachable moments.

This, I have interpreted as when something absolutely goes to sh*t, use it for a lesson in something semi-related so you can spin it positively for your kids (and sometimes yourself too).

Although I actually think this is good advice, I rarely do it because usually whenever something goes wrong, I am not very good at the pivot, or turning lemons into lemonade so to speak.

I usually get flustered, swear a lot and probably set a really bad example for my kids.

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Shona and her daughters. Image: Supplied

"At 10, she suddenly had a lot of questions"

But recently I was involved in a teachable moment that was most definitely lemonade, the sweetest, thirst-quenching variety of it too. But this moment wasn’t steered by me, it was my eldest daughter, Addison, who was in the driver’s seat.

After 10 years of being a tooth fairy believer, Addi all of sudden began to ask a lot of questions about the mysterious tooth-taking creature.

There were queries about how she can logistically do what she does, what she does with the teeth and why she collects them in the first place (which is a very hard question to answer because why?)

She then made some comments about friends of hers who don’t believe any more and that she doesn’t think she does either.

She wrote a letter including all her arguments

A few weeks later the topic came up again, this time via a letter, one that entailed all of her arguments about why she thinks the tooth fairy isn’t real and that it is actually me and her dad.

The letter was a well-crafted argument (I was impressed albeit despondent), which had been left discreetly next to my bed after her younger sister (Milla) was asleep, with a ‘burn after reading’ message at the end so Milla didn’t read it by accident.

The next day, after school and again away from her sister, she pulled me aside and quietly whispered, “It is okay if the tooth fairy isn’t real, I won't tell anyone, and I won't spoil it for Milla.”

I knew in my heart it was time, so I nodded and told her that she was right, the tooth fairy isn’t real and that it was myself and her dad who took the teeth and replaced them with money.

Her reaction took me by surprise

“I knew it!” she exclaimed with a sense of joy that took me by surprise. I was dumbfounded – I mean why was she acting this way when a childhood myth had been busted? When she had just found out she had been lied to for a decade?

Addi then proceeded to ask me a series of questions, absolutely thrilled to be discovering all of these top-secret tasks that had been completed by us over the years and how we did them.

“Who takes the teeth?” she asked

“What do you do with them?”

“What do you do if we are still awake?”

“What about the letters that have been left?”

After I answered her questions, I also showed her my (creepy, yes) collection of teeth from her and her sister that I keep in a secret box. Laughing and also “ewww-ing” she then proceeded to ask me questions about my tooth fairy experience and when I found out the truth.

Shona's daughters. Image: Supplied

The moment she found out was so special, in an unexpected way

While it was a bit sad to see the end of one component of her childhood, my daughter discovering the truth was such a beautiful experience.

It was bonding, it was special, and it was joyful in a strange and absolutely unexpected way.

Since then, Addi has lost three more teeth. She keeps the magic alive for her sister and also helps us by placing her tooth bag outside her door (for easier access) and of course feigning excitement about the tooth fairy’s visit and the gold coins she leaves behind the next morning.

Teachable moments definitely occur at the strangest of times, in the least expected contexts and usually by complete accident.

While I may not be the greatest at finding them, it is a heart-warming feeling to know that my daughter is and that she is willing to share them with me too.