I want to leave my baby in the car; but I know it's taboo and I'll be judged

 "What I'm wondering is, are there circumstances where this is OK?"

It's generally accepted that leaving a baby in a car on a hot day, for a long time, will end in disaster. 

But one mum this week has asked if it's ok to leave her baby daughter buckled into her car seat while sleeping, so she can pop into the shops.

Her concern is not so much for her infant, whom she's sure will be fine, but that "it seems to be a big taboo and I'm worried someone will see her and judge me or call [the cops]."

The responses to her online post may surprise you.

Or, they may be totally relatable.

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RELATED:  Hack to never forget a baby in a hot car

This mum says she doesn't see the big deal about leaving her sleeping baby in the car for a few minutes. Source: iStock

"Leaving baby in the car?"

The woman in the US posted on Reddit:

"OK so, of course in MOST circumstances, leaving your baby or young child in the car while you go into a store is unsafe, neglectful, and generally a bad idea," she begins.

"But what I'm wondering is, are there circumstances where this is OK?

"Yesterday I needed to duck into a UPS store. I found a parking spot right in front of the building - I would be able to see my car the whole time I was in the store. It was going to take me under 5 minutes.

"My baby was asleep in her car seat. The temperature was comfortable. I knew if I took her in with me, even in the car seat, she would wake up and her nap would be cut short. If I left her, she was likely to continue snoozing peacefully, or at worst wake up and cry for a couple of minutes.

"It felt totally safe for me to leave her, but I didn't, because it just seems like such a big taboo, and I was worried someone would see her, and judge me or call COPS."

"Be prepared for consequences."

More than 500 people weighed in with their opinions on the post, and comments were surprisingly divided.

"Be prepared for consequences," read one.

"My SIL ran into the gas station for just a few minutes and left her two and four-year-olds in the car and the police were called. A Child Protection Services case was opened against her and it took ages and a tonne of stress to fight.

"Getting babies in and out of cars is hard, and sometimes it’s annoying when you’re going somewhere for literally two seconds just to have to buckle them up. But I don’t think it’s worth the legal trouble or potential devastation."

Others shared times they had left their kids and things had gone wrong, and re-told stories of disasters they'd seen in the news. There were also many comments on how quickly the temperature rises in a closed car.

RELATED: The five most common concerns searched by new mums

"How long before the baby is found?"

Another warned the mum, "I've read you should never, ever do this, even for short runs in somewhere where you can still see your car, because if something unexpected happened to you in the store - seizure, gunman, heart attack, etc. - no one would know you have a baby in the car outside.

"You get carted off in an ambulance and how long before baby is found?"

But then, this person noted in response, "That's the reason those 'baby on board' stickers were invented. They are supposed to let emergency personnel know that there is a child in the car when they arrive on the scene."

It was a theme that was carried on in comments such as, "This is very situationally dependent, so no judgment here! 

"I don't think we need to live our lives under the assumption that every worst-case scenario will happen to us. Statistically, driving our kids to the store is more dangerous than leaving them in the car for five minutes when we get there."

Other mums confessed to doing the 'pop in' when they could see their car from the store, with this Aussie mum writing, "I'm in Australia. I had babies in the US and moved back to Aus when they were two and five. I regularly leave them in the car now in Aus (ac on) to pay for fuel.

"If they were babies, I'd do the same. There's equivalent risk just driving them around and I don't bat an eye at that."

And then there was this take from a mum who evidently has a lot on her plate: "I think it's fine, may get flamed but life is nuanced, and you still have to get things done to survive in this capitalist hellscape."

Each state words its laws around child safety and supervision slightly differently. The overall answer, however, is that a child should never be left unattended under any circumstances. It is a criminal offence in Australia - check your state legislation.

This story was published in January 2023, and updated in June 2023.

Originally published as I want to leave my baby in the car; but I know it's taboo and I'll be judged