'I gave my 10yo control of our money, then questioned my parenting'

“I followed her around for a whole day, saying, ‘I’m hungry’ so she would know what it feels like."

As a single mum, living week to week on a modest sole income, Erena watched every dollar she had. 

One day, however, the Brisbane mum chose to do something with her money that completely scared her - and would make most parents run for the hills. 

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“I felt a lot of fear before I handed the money over"

One night, the 42-year-old was watching Teenage Boss, an ABC program where teens are given control of the family finances for a month. 

“I thought I could do the same with my eldest daughter,” Erena tells Kidspot. 

If the idea of handing over a wad of cash to a teenager sounds like risky parenting, Erena took it up a very big notch. The child in question was her daughter Rangi, who was just 10 years old at the time.

In a mark of sheer bravery, Erena handed over a whopping $750 for Rangi to manage for two weeks, which was the family’s budget - minus rent and utility bills, which she had already taken money out for.  

“I gave her the cash all at once,” Erena says. 

“I laid it all out on the table. Seeing it go out of your hands and being able to understand how it’s used was important.”  

The feeling of releasing control of something so major brought about a wealth of mixed emotions. 

“I felt a lot of fear before I handed the money over, but when I did, I felt really relieved,” she says honestly. 

“It was like, ‘Let’s just see what happens’. A lot of my friends were in disbelief that I would just hand over money like that. I had in my mind what the money needed to be spent on, but I wondered if I did give the money to the kids, what would they spend it on?

“I sat both of the kids down and explained what we would do and instantly, they were like, ‘Wow!’ They were so excited about it,” Erena says. 

“I didn’t have a back up plan. I said, ‘It’s your choice what you want to spend the money on, but I suggest we get some food and if you want to go somewhere, we’ll need petrol in the car’, I also said they might want to get some stationery for the new school year as it was the summer holidays at the time.

"Rangi said, ‘I’ll take your ideas on, but I’ll decide’. She felt very important carrying around that wallet for a few days.

“She was always interested in how money works - how you earn it, how you spend it and she asks a lot of questions, so I thought it would be a great idea to involve her in this experiment and I genuinely felt confident handing the money over,” she says.  

“It was an opening for a big conversation about how money comes into the home and where it goes.”  

Image: Supplied

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"I followed her around for a whole day, saying, ‘I’m hungry’ so she would know what it felt like" 

When it came time to hit the shops for the first time, Erena was taken aback at what transpired. 

“The first purchase she made was a present for her sister - an archery set that she wanted,” Erena smiles.

“That surprised me because they’re siblings, and they have their fights. She could have bought anything and that made me really proud, because she thought about how to be kind. It was a really beautiful moment and a memory that will last forever for me.” 

As for the necessities, Erena says Rangi’s choices were a little questionable, but oh so age appropriate. 

“She chose the groceries for a few days, but she didn’t spend that much on food,” she laughs. 

“Afterwards, I thought, ‘Oh gosh, we’re going to be hungry’. She spent a lot on McDonald’s frozen drinks. She’s like, ‘Oh, they’re only a dollar, so we can go there every day’. There were also a lot of bread meals, chicken nuggets and pre-packaged meals. She did buy some fruit, but she generally tried to skimp on the food portion of the budget. It’s very different from the balanced diet they normally have with lots of veggies, protein and healthy carbs.”  

As it was the school holidays, Rangi also prioritised having some fun but made sure to leave some cash left over for practical things. 

“She bought tickets to a pop-up ninja course activity for both of them to do together during that week,” Erena remembers. 

“But she also put aside money for petrol - she didn’t go on the wild spending spree that I thought could happen.” 

Seeing her daughters enjoy themselves so much gave Erena a wake up call she didn’t expect. 

“They definitely thought that the money I usually spent was always used on boring things,” she says. 

“They wanted more fun things. That was a big learning thing for me, because you can get into patterns of going through life trying to get by but there was space for fun, and I needed to realise that more.” 

The mum-of-two, who is a small business owner, also made sure to give Rangi a dose of hard reality about the responsibility of spending the family funds. 

“I followed her around for a whole day, saying, ‘I’m hungry’ so she would know what it felt like when she would go around the house saying she was hungry and there was nothing to eat,” she laughs. 

“My youngest daughter was in her ear quite a lot, saying she needed new shoes, a new toy, and to be taken out to lunch.” 

Image: Supplied

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"I don't regret it at all"

After 10 days, with just a small amount left to spend, Rangi happily handed back the reins to her mum. 

“She said, ‘I’m getting tired of looking after the money’. She said it really gave her an idea of what it means to have it. She learnt how to plan things when you get given a lump sum of money. At first she was like, ‘Great, this is awesome’ but when you have to consult with other members of the family with what everyone needs and wants, it’s a lot more responsibility than you may be ready for.” 

While it was a once-off experiment, Erena says it remains a positive family memory and important part of her children’s financial education.  

“I don’t regret it at all,” she says. 

“I was actually really proud. My eldest daughter surprised me in many ways. She didn’t just buy things for herself, she thought about others and how to use money to help other people. I feel like that’s one of the biggest lessons you can have. She really surprised me how capable she was. She taught me a lot.” 

Now 15 years old, Rangi has just secured her first part-time job at a chemist, and Erena is full of confidence about her managing her income well. So much so that when it came to opening her own bank account, Erena declined the bank’s offer to have access to her daughter’s funds. 

“The clerk looked at me and asked, and I looked at Rangi and said it’s her decision, and that I didn’t need to have access to her money and I trusted her with it. She has her own ATM card on her phone and she’s all set up,” she says. 

“When I look at her now, she’s so good with money. She puts it aside and saves it and recognises what her spending is like. I don’t have any concerns about how she manages it all. She’s a really strong role model for our family.”

Originally published as 'I gave my 10yo control of our money, then questioned my parenting'