'How rude': My folks dumped my childhood stuff

“Darling, we’re clearing out things we don’t need... you're 39. It's time."

Up until recently, all of my childhood bits and pieces were stashed in my old bedroom at my parents’ house.

Occasionally when I’d fly up for a family holiday, I’d get out my old photo albums and music trophies and show my kids. But for the most part, that 'stuff' just sat there in the cupboard growing dust with each year that passed.

Earlier this year, my mum called me.

“Darling, we’re getting older now and we’re clearing out things we don’t need,” she said. “We’re bringing you all your childhood and teenage belongings.

“You’re 39 now. It’s time.”

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"What should I do with this stuff?"

A few weeks later, mum and dad arrived on my doorstep with a boot full of memories.

“But what shall I do with all this stuff?” I asked.

“I don’t know, that’s up to you,” replied mum, the hint of a not-my-problem smile on her face.

As I heaved it all inside and started going through the pile of things, I felt completely overwhelmed, swamped by nostalgia and glimpses into the past.

There were report cards from primary school. Journals I kept as a child. Old love letters from boyfriends and Kodak films that had never been developed. Souvenirs I’d picked up on family holidays and jewelry boxes from late grandmothers.

Part of me thought, “I’ve lived without all this stuff for 20-odd years, surely I can say goodbye to it now and just dump it in the fire.” But I just couldn’t.

Melissa's childhood memories, and in her youth. Image: Melissa Noble

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I tried the Marie Kondo approach to decluttering, whereby your feelings rule your decision-making. You’re meant to pick up each item at a time and ask yourself, “does this spark joy?” Through this process, you can identify what you love, and what you should keep.

As I held each item, I didn’t necessarily feel joy per say, but I did feel some connection to it. To the past. To the people associated with it. I couldn’t let anything go. 

In desperation, I called my best friend.

“Where is all your childhood stuff,” I asked?

“Still at my parents’ house,” she replied.

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She went on to say that she didn’t want to store the stuff at her place, but she didn’t want her parents to get rid of it either. I burst into laughter. It seemed I wasn’t alone.

Another friend said she still had all of her old report cards in storage under her house. She said she held onto them on the off chance her children wanted to know what her grades were like in primary school and high school. 

In the end, I kept most of my childhood things, piling them into a box with my own kids’ belongings. 

Maybe I’m keeping them for posterity. More likely, I’m keeping them for myself. I just wish someone else could store them for me for the next 20 years.

Originally published as 'How rude': My folks dumped my childhood stuff