'Don’t wait too long – you’re better off having them close together'

"Why we ignored this common but annoying family planning advice."

When I’d had my first child and was getting past the craziness of those newborn months, I started talking to my girlfriends about the perfect age gap between kids.

One of my friends fell pregnant with her second child when her first was only a few months old.

She tried to convince me that going ‘boom, boom’, was better than waiting.

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Proved to be perfect

“It’s difficult in the beginning having two little ones so close in age, but it paid off in the end because they play together so well,” she said one day over lunch. 

“Don’t wait too long – you’re better off having them close together.” 

I looked into her idea, and found that research suggests that siblings who have an age gap of around 27 to 32 months have better health outcomes for both the mother and children.

Image: Supplied

However, for my husband and I, we really wanted to enjoy our first child before adding another one into the mix. 

I’d also had a rough experience having our son, so I wanted to give my body time to fully heal and feel ready to grow another human.

When my son was a few months shy of three-years-old, I suggested to my husband that we start trying again.

That month, I fell pregnant.

Our daughter, baby #2, came along when our son was three years old and seven months.

For us, that age gap proved to be perfect.

Our son was toilet trained by that point and didn’t need a bottle anymore.

He was becoming more and more independent. 

One thing I really loved was that he was fully aware of and excited about what was happening.

I’d let him feel the baby kicking in my belly and I could reason with him if I needed a lie down during the day towards the end of the pregnancy. 

Image: Supplied

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When his little sister was born, my son was absolutely over the moon. I don’t know if his reaction would have been quite the same if he were younger. He may have been more interested in his toy truck than the wriggly little sister being presented to him.

When our daughter was almost three, I fell pregnant again.

Our third child was born when baby #2 was three years old and eight months.

Funnily enough, we didn't plan it that way (baby #3 was a complete surprise), it just happened. 

Again, the age gap felt just right for us. 

The older two proved to be really helpful during those newborn months. My daughter would fetch the nappies for me, while my son would help bathe the baby (under supervision, of course) or heat up bottles when needed.

Wind forward the clock a few years, and the bond between our little trio is so special. Sure, sometimes they haggle, but mostly the older ones look out for the youngest and deep down, they all adore each other.

They still play together well and I don’t think having them any closer together would have meant a closer connection at the end of the day.

My husband recently daydreamed about having a fourth – a boy, he imagined. It was weird timing, because our youngest is approaching that age three mark.

"What is it with us and that timing?" I laughed. "Are you serious about it? Do you want to reverse your vasectomy?"

"Na," he replied. "Three kids spaced three years apart is perfect for us."

Originally published as 'Don’t wait too long – you’re better off having them close together'