Angry mum shares MIL’s ‘reckless’ act while watching grandkids

“I put my shoes on and ran.”

Laura Jackel

3 min read

August 21, 2024 - 3:40PM

Image: iStock.

Parenting

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A mum who left her kids with her mother-in-law is having major regrets after she discovered her kids had been left alone with a stranger at the park.

The mum took to Mumsnet to ask if she was being unreasonable to feel so “angry and shocked” by the situation.

She began by explaining what happened: “My mother-in-law left my five and four-year-old kids with a lady (a mum who had a baby and another boy) who she just met at the park, to go for 10 mins back to her house to pick up some water for them.”

The mum then continued saying when she saw her MIL arrive home without the two kids she panicked.

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My mother in law has her own agenda when visiting

"I was in shock"

“She told me she left them with this lady she just met… They were okay and they were having fun.

“I was in shock, so I put my shoes on and ran to see them. I understand the mum could have been a very charming lady, however she still is a complete stranger and my kids were left alone with her.

“When I tried to tell her respectfully to avoid doing that ever again she just ignored me and carried on walking like it was nothing. Am I being out of line here?”

The hundreds of comments on the post were mostly as shocked as the mum.

“That was reckless,” commented one woman.

“Of course most times it would be completely fine, but who would take the risk that it wasn’t? If she isn’t able to accept that what she did was wrong and promise not to do that again, I wouldn’t let her have the kids on her own again.”

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"That's horrific"

Another agreed adding:”That's horrific!! The fact she just ignored you and kept walking.”

With third thinking of just some of the things that might have happened in those 10 minutes.

“The woman could have been anyone. What if she had to leave? What if one of your kids got injured, what's she supposed to do alone with four kids. Insane responsibility to put on a stranger!

“You ask a stranger to watch your bag while you go for a wee, not to watch your kids while you nip home.”

One parent chimed in to say that if the other mum was comfortable watching the kids, this was not an unforgivable crime.

“Massive overreaction, if the woman in question agreed to keep an eye on them. Dereliction, if she didn't. ETA: You're talking about 10 minutes max here, not all afternoon.”

Another felt similarly: “To be fair, I wouldn't have left the children with a stranger either, being rather risk-averse - but I grew up in an age when a mother could trust another mother, if they had a sense of her as being someone alert and reliable.

“Yes, you can usually tell. And it was only for a few minutes. (I know, I know, GM could have been run over by a bus in the meantime, but sensible and reliable stranger mother would have known what to do.)”

"I feel sorry for the woman in the park"

Many of the comments went out in sympathy for the ‘stranger’ mum of two who got the extra two to care for.

“I feel sorry for the woman in question. Watching two small children on top of her own and a baby is a big ask, if you're not used to it.

“With your own, you can weigh the risk, but who's she supposed to go after if one of yours heads towards the road, the other is too close to the swings and her one is climbing too high on the climbing frame?”

"A lapse of judgement"

Finally one commenter chose to give the MIL the benefit of the doubt but that the MIL should apologise for her error.

“I think it was a lapse of judgement to do it, but I don't go along with the 'she's insane, I'd never speak to her again' line of thinking.

“It's sad really, that we live somewhere with so little sense of community that a grandmother can't leave two children with another woman for 10 minutes.

“She was definitely wrong not to acknowledge you (and apologise!) when you spoke to her about it.”