'The silence is deafening': Adelaide mum nails the loneliness of pregnancy loss

"Silence is worse than saying the wrong thing because at least your baby has been acknowledged. This really helps a grieving mother."

Mum-of-three, Ceci Jeffries, shared a clip to Instagram highlighting the loneliness of experiencing a pregnancy loss in comparison to other types of grief.

The clip is brief, but heartbreaking in its honestly and realistic depiction.

Jeffries, from Adelaide, has been giving voice to the significant issues people struggling in their journey to have a baby experience, for a few years as a Fertility Mindset Coach.

"My day job is 1:1 fertility coaching, and my night job is campaigning, raising awareness and breaking the stigma surrounding any type of fertility struggle," Jeffries tells Kidspot.

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The pregnancy loss video that nails the experience

Jeffries often communicates her message through humorous clips, but a recent video about pregnancy loss was especially poignant.

The clip simply shows the differences in reactions from loved ones between when your grandmother dies, for example, or when you break your arm, versus how news of baby loss is met.

In the first two scenarios, a friend arrives at the door with flowers, and then some helpful meals.

But with the pregnancy loss, the door remains closed, and no one is there; meaning that either the woman suffering the loss has not told anyone, or that no one wants to visit.

Jeffries says in the caption, "Sadly, this is the reality in many cases."

"If you've experienced a miscarriage, I'd love to hear how you were (or wish you were) supported.

"Together, let’s raise more awareness. The more awareness, the more support ❤️."

Jeffries nails how grief from pregnancy loss is treated differently. Source: Instagram

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"Pregnancy loss is not taboo anymore"

The emotions in the clip are ones Jeffries knows well, having faced many fertility challenges on her way to becoming a mum.

"Sadly, pregnancy loss is barely acknowledged still and often swept under the rug," she says.

"It can be uncomfortable and confronting for people to acknowledge and talk about something they may never have experienced. People are often afraid they'll say the wrong thing. 

"But the silence is what is deafening. The loneliness that is partnered with this silence can be soul-destroying for those experiencing a loss.”

Jeffries knows that engaging in conversations on the experience is important, because, "It's easy to hide a painful fertility struggle. But more awareness and support is essential so people feel less alone."

She adds: "Silence is worse than saying the wrong thing because at least your baby has been acknowledged. This really helps a grieving mother."

Jeffries always encourages kindness. Source: Instagram

How to show support

Jeffries wants to let people know what they can do.

"If your friend has lost a baby, support them as you would support a friend who is grieving. Properly grieving," she says.

This is why Jeffries is passionate about "changing the narrative" around loss.

"The more we start talking about it, the more people realise how common it is and it's not a taboo anymore," she says.

"People can then be more sympathetic towards losses. A miscarriage at any stage is deserving of recognition, love and support."

Finally, Jeffries wants to share her advice, experience and support with as many people as she can.

"Infertility is serious. But I hope you get a laugh on my Instagram page too. It helped me when I was struggling. It made me feel a lot less alone."

Originally published as 'The silence is deafening': Adelaide mum nails the loneliness of pregnancy loss