Hiker’s request for woman to do ‘one thing’ backfires
A bloke has issued a PSA to women after noticing a trend while hiking solo, but instead he highlighted a harsh reality many still face.
A social media video has exposed an outdated norm still placed on women: that they owe men a returned “hi,” anywhere, anytime.
Even walking alone on an empty hiking trail, the expectation follows.
A man named Justin took to his account with what he framed as a “public service announcement” for the ladies.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t exactly a message of girl power. Instead, he used his platform to dish out a few unsolicited courtesy tips.
“If you’re going to pass a single guy on a trail and you’re a girl and he says ‘hi’, maybe say ‘hi’ back and don’t just give me an awkward …” he says, giving the camera a side eye.
The video has more than one million views, sparking conversation about the expectations placed on women.
“Do you require this of men too or are you just targeting women?” one user commented.
“She owes you NOTHING,” another wrote.
A third pointed out: “Pass a ‘single guy’? Why does your relationship status matter?”
“We’re trying not to die,” another bluntly put it.
Men were also quick to point out what Justin missed.
“Women can’t play the same game as we do, bro. ‘Hi’ is often seen as an ‘invitation’ by men for further unwanted interaction.’ She’s already thinking ahead, likely thinking, “if I say hi, he may want to talk, which I don’t really want to, and if I say no to talking, he could get angry and escalate.’ It’s honestly just easier for them to not interact and not risk confrontation that they likely won’t win. I’m sorry, but that’s how it is,” one man wrote.
“Just the girls? What’s wrong, Justin? You don’t wanna say hi to me too?” another asked.
A male hiker pointed out, “As a man and a fellow hiker, we should be okay that women do not engage with us, especially when they are on their own. I understand basic human decency, but we have to understand and respect that it is mostly safety. You don’t have to take it personally”.
The backlash is because the connotation runs a lot deeper than a surface-level ‘hi’.
Executive Director of the National Women’s Safety Alliance, Katherine Berney, says this sort of interaction taps into a universal feeling that runs as an undercurrent in womanhood.
“Even a seemingly ‘friendly’ interaction becomes threatening when you’re alone. The power imbalance is undeniable,” Ms Berney told news.com.au.
“The comments show it tapped into a universal experience for women: being approached, watched, or commented on when they did not invite interaction. It potentially reminded people of situations that felt unsafe, dismissively minimised, or escalated in the past.”
She says Justin’s approach is a broader mentality that society still fosters.
“Many people are conditioned to believe women exist to be pleasant, accommodating, and responsive. Patriarchal norms treat women’s bodies and attention as public property, and they dismiss the reality that for women, safety is always a calculation,” Ms Berney explained.
“What looks ‘friendly’ to him can feel threatening to her, especially in an isolated place where there’s no easy escape.”
It’s a mentality that can lead to darker avenues.
“When we excuse entitlement to a woman’s time or attention, we legitimise entitlement to her body. This everyday behaviour is the front-end of the same attitudes that allow violence to flourish,” she points out.
Upon seeing the backlash, Justin made a follow-up “public service announcement,” admitting he understood he’d hit a nerve.
“Safety on trails is real and completely valid. I was just laughing at that awkward, NPC (Non-player character) freeze moment when you say hi,” Justin said.
“No pressure to say it back. Do whatever feels safe to you. I was just out there, enjoying nature, touching grass, and just laughing at the awkward encounter.”
But the comment section didn’t let up, unimpressed with his response.
“I think you mispronounced ‘I was wrong,’” one commenter said.
“You were not laughing at an awkward encounter. You were telling women how they should behave,” another argued.
“This reads as: I’m getting a lot of backlash, let me mansplain the situation,” a third user wrote.
Ms Berney says taking ownership when you’re called out like Justin has been is important.
“Impact matters more than intent. You can unintentionally scare someone and still be responsible for the harm,” she reasoned.
“Claiming ‘I didn’t mean it’ also avoids the harder work of reflecting on why the experience was ‘awkward.’ Accountability means owning the impact, listening without defensiveness, understanding why the behaviour was harmful, changing it going forward, and using his platform to promote safer behaviour instead of minimising it.”
For women who feel unsafe from a ‘hi’ or any other ‘friendly’ behaviour, her advice is to do whatever they need to.
“Whatever keeps them [women] safest. That might be ignoring it, walking away, giving a short response, or set a boundary for comfort and safety. People don’t owe politeness when they feel unsafe, and the responsibility is never on them to manage someone else’s behaviour,” she shared.
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Originally published as Hiker’s request for woman to do ‘one thing’ backfires
