Aliens prime suspects in strange saga of Darwin tuktuk theft after abducted vehicle sighted in Wycliffe Well

ALIENS are now the prime suspects in the strange saga of Darwin’s December tuktuk theft after the abducted vehicle was sighted in Wycliffe Well

Dave Heinz’s tuktuk has been stolen and it is almost definitely the work of Wycliffe Well loving aliens. Picture: Katrina Bridgeford

ALIENS are now the prime suspects in the strange saga of Darwin’s December tuktuk theft after the abducted vehicle was sighted in Wycliffe Well.

Local small business owner Dave Heinz, who operates Darwin Tuktuks, received a call from a customer swearing they had spotted the unmistakeable bright yellow body and blue seat of his missing rickshaw earlier in the week.

Our Sunday Territorian front page

While for many motorists Wycliffe Well, 1100km south of Darwin, is but a blip on the road between obscurity and oblivion, the roadhouse has become a thoroughfare for UFOs.

Attracted to the town because of its cosmic alignments, conducive energies and general privacy, UFOs have been a fact of life in Wycliffe Well for over three decades.

Mr Heinz told the Sunday Territorian that it would only make sense if the tuktuk turned up in the alien-riddled landscape.

“I’m going on speculation but yeah, I don’t know how else to explain it,” Mr Heinz said. “Stranger things have happened.”

Mr Heinz called on anyone with more information to come forward.

“Anyone who has information to help can have a free hair cut at Southern Cross Barbers,” he said.

Mr Heinz even said he would offer a cranium rub to the smooth head of the honourable Martian willing to return the tuktuk.

AB-DUCK-TED: ‘I’m not quackers, but aliens stole my feathered friends’

DARWIN at shortest odds of where alien contact is likely to occur

UFO cut off my car: ‘Station wagon-shaped spaceship pulled alongside us’

“I’d ask them to read NT News to drop it back in Darwin – it would be nice for them to fly it back because it’s heavy.”

But if the strong circumstantial evidence bears out and it turns out the extraterrestrials took the tuktuk, more questions are raised than answered, such as:

Did their flying saucer break down? Are they taking the piss?

How did they become so civilised a species as to master interstellar travel, yet engage in petty theft with a blithe disregard for small business operators?

Are they making an environmental statement and eschewing fossil fuels?

And if they are ‘greenies’, is this where the stereotypical portrayal of extraterrestrials as little humanoid-like creatures with green pigment comes from?

Are they here to recalibrate their death ray away from Tennant Creek, which has suffered plus 40-degree heat 31 out of the last 34 days?