‘It felt like I had two bowling balls inside of me’: Carly De Mamiel reveals IVF journey

Carly De Mamiel and her partner Steven Hosking scheduled a fertility appointment to rule out any issues. They were “floored” to find out they would need IVF.

We were both floored when we were told we’d need to do IVF to have a baby.

We were both floored when we were told we’d need to do IVF to have a baby.

I was 36 when we started trying to fall pregnant naturally and my partner Steven was 39.

But after months of trying nothing had happened.

So in April last year we decided to go get tested to make sure there wasn’t a reason behind it – I was worried about my age.

I remember after our first appointment at Monash IVF I said to Steve: “we’re not going to have to do IVF”.

I saw it as something we had to do to tick boxes and rule out anything stopping us from conceiving.

Carly De Mamiel with her partner Steven Hosking and daughter Harlow.

Plus IVF is so expensive.

When I had all my tests, they didn’t find any issues and my AMH levels (blood test that measures ovarian reserve) were fine.

But for Steven it came back that his sperm count was low. It felt like someone had pulled the rug out from underneath us.

We were seeing Beverley Vollenhoven as our fertility specialist and she was straight to the point and told us what we had to do. I put all my trust in her.

She wanted to retest Steven’s sperm after his original sample in March last year.

He did another in April and then in July and it confirmed the sperm count was still too low.

My partner helped inject me

The idea of doing injections is quite daunting.

But the ones you need to do at the start are fine – it’s like a little pen and you wind it up to whatever dose you need and then it feels like a small pin prick.

I took mine at 7am each day.

The second type of needle I needed to take about four days in – to stop me from ovulating – was quite big so Steven would help by injecting my stomach every night at 7pm.

It was great to have him as a support throughout it all and for him to be so involved.

At the start the follicle-stimulating medication made me really, really tired and I would get bad headaches.

However every time I spoke to one of the nurses they would just say that was quite normal.

Later on I did get really bloated. But I kept going to work all throughout it all and my boss was amazing and very supportive.

They never expected they’d need IVF. Picture: Jason Edwards

I had blood tests throughout and I also went in twice for internal ultrasounds so they could measure all the follicles.

It was actually quite exciting for me because I didn’t know what to expect or what they’d be looking for.

During those scans they didn’t go into a lot of detail, but it seemed as though I would have a pretty good number of eggs collected.

Then it was time to take my trigger shot to induce ovulation. They told me to do it at 11pm at night because it has to be exactly 72 hours before when the egg collection is scheduled. We went to bed and set an alarm and woke up. After it was all done, we went back to sleep.

I felt like I had two bowling balls inside me

By the day of the egg collection, I felt like I had two bowling balls inside me. I couldn’t really walk properly because my ovaries felt so enlarged. We had to wear face masks and before I went in, I remember Steven trying to kiss to wish me luck while we both had them on, which I look back on and think is kind of funny.

The first thing I remember after waking up in recovery was the nurse coming and speaking to me.

Apparently the doctor had already spoken to me about how many eggs had been collected but I couldn’t remember the conversation.

Carly De Mamiel is glad they didn’t wait too long before getting tested. Picture: Jason Edwards

So the nurse had to go call the doctor before she was able to let me know.

It was likely only a couple of minutes but to me it seemed like it was hours before she came back and told me the number.

Eighteen.

I was ecstatic.

I got one of the most incredible phone calls of my life

The next day the embryologist called and told us that 15 of the 18 eggs they’d collected were mature and could be fertilised.

Three days later we got another call – one of them had dropped off but there were still 14.

Then another two days passed and I got one of the most incredible calls of my life.

I had the phone on speaker with Steven when the embryologist started counting out how many embryos had made it to day five.

“One, two, three, four, five … oh we’ve got six,” she said.

As soon as the phone call ended I remember hugging Steven in the hallway.

I kept thinking ‘please let this work’

I was told by my doctor at Monash they wouldn’t be able to do a fresh transfer because I was close to having ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. So I used the time to let my body get back to normal.

We went on a holiday to Bali because Steven had turned 40 – and he proposed.

It was so nice to forget everything that had happened and relax and celebrate for a little bit.

It wasn’t until late November – after the egg collection in early August – that the frozen embryo transfer took place.

I remember I had to get there at 9am and drink water beforehand as they needed my bladder to be full.

Carly De Mamiel and Steven Hosking know they were lucky and many others aren’t. Picture: Jason Edwards

But I drank way too much – probably about a litre because I was nervous – so I was sitting there busting to go to the toilet for a whole hour before it all got underway at 10am.

Then I had a few issues with my cervix while doing the transfer – so they had to use a little instrument to open it up which wasn’t pleasant.

Steven was holding my hand the whole time and I was staring at the ceiling thinking “please let this work”.

I started crying when I was told ‘you’re pregnant’

We did the blood test at the clinic to test if I was pregnant on December 1 and they called me pretty quickly after that.

When the phone started ringing, I put it on speaker. The nurse’s tone of voice didn’t sound overly excited and I was thinking, “oh no”. But then she said “you’re blood test has come back positive”. I started crying. We were just beside ourselves.

Being a mother now to Harlow, who was born in August, is just incredible. My partner and I are just so obsessed with her. She’s the greatest thing in the world. Steven is an amazing dad. Watching him play with her and talk to her – it’s so true when people say you just fall in love all over again.

We’ve got five embryos now that are still frozen and I’ve already started speaking to him about when we can do another transfer.

Steven Hosking:

We were just searching for answers. We were getting a bit older and we couldn’t afford to keep trying for another three to four years.

I was pretty anxious going in for our first fertility appointment and unsure of what we were going to find out.

When I got my test results back showing a low sperm count for genetic reasons it really flattened me.

The specialist we were seeing was very matter-of-fact and there was no sugar coating it.

We discussed the IVF process and then did counselling to make sure we were mentally prepared for what was ahead.

When Carly did the injections she showed amazing determination and strength throughout the whole process and kept the attitude that nothing was going to stop us.

But it was tough knowing that I was the reason she was having to go through all that – it was due to my health issue.

I wanted to make sure mentally she was OK with all the hormones and not breaking down into tears – and if she was then I just wanted to be there to support her.

I know how lucky we are

It’s longwinded and once you get the embryo, there’s a waiting game and that wait is very tough.

Even when you get the confirmation you are pregnant at two weeks after the implant, you’re happy at that point but still conscious there’s a long way to go.

But once you meet your baby – I haven’t thought too much about all time we spent trying and all he appointments. We’re enjoying where we are at and the beautiful girl we’ve got.

Our journey is a successful one – but there are a large number of people who spend a significant amount of money in hope of a good outcome and they don’t get one.

And those are the stories that are really hard to listen to.

Originally published as ‘It felt like I had two bowling balls inside of me’: Carly De Mamiel reveals IVF journey