Kate Middleton set to break big coronation rule as day goes awry
The Princess of Wales is set to break a huge tradition at King Charles’ coronation – and that’s just the start of the problems.
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Coronations can and do go wrong, and they can be highly entertaining.
One of the most Monty Python-esque was that of George III in 1761: The Bishop of Rochester nearly dropped the crown, one of the stones then fell out of it, attendees got bored and had their servants bring them pies and wine to snack on inside the Abbey mid-service, and Queen Charlotte took a break to use the loo only to find it occupied by the Duke of Newcastle.
Today, only a meagre four days away from King Charles’ go at juggling an orb and sceptre, it is looking dangerously like His Majesty’s might be about to join the list of coronations that have gone off the rails.
But before anyone starts blaming Queen Camilla and her staunch refusal to take her favourite lighter out of her robe’s pocket for the incipient threat, I give you instead a group of possible troublemakers: Kate, the Princess of Wales, Prince Harry, the Duke of Sales (sorry, Sussex) and even the King himself.
Kate’s name? That’s not a typo.
The woman whose number one skill for many years was toeing the line, a woman who resolutely kept her knees hidden and who had a démodé tendency towards muteness – yes, her – could be about to indecorously chuck one of the oldest coronation rules out the window with a certain rebellious glee.
The Times’ impeccably sourced Valentine Low has reported that Kate might not, as has been the tradition since the Normans were clonking each other on the head with broadswords, wear a tiara for the coronation. Instead, Low says Kate is “planning to wear a floral headpiece”.
What next? Dreamcatchers inside Westminster Abbey? A nice bit of whalesong piped through the place to get the vibe right?
If Kate goes down this slightly hippy dippy route, it would be hugely controversial, bucking tradition and depriving the public, Fleet Street editors and Tik Tok from getting to revel in the sight of the Princess done up like a diamond-encrusted dinner.
This would be much more than a bit of an out-there style choice but something of a rejection of her job description.
While these days the 41-year-old is busy trying to pull off a one-princess societal overhaul around how Britons raise their children, it pains my feminist heart to point out the fact that a big part of her role is ornamental. Therefore, should we see her enter the Abbey with freesias elegantly tucked into some complicated updo, it would be a real dereliction of her duty to, er, look nice. (With apologies to Susan B. Anthony etc.)
More prosaically, Kate turning up wreathed in daisies rather than wearing something like the Brazilian Aquamarine tiara would be huge news and would divert attention away from Charles and Camilla (who could well be the first Queen in history to ask the Archbishop if they could stop mid-coronation for a quick cigarette break).
‘Kate wears nice dress and diamonds’ is the sort of headline any wise courtier aide will be hankering for come Saturday, a jolly injection of glamour and lots of glowing sentences about how damned lovely she is. ‘Kate chucks out 1000-year-old tradition’ is the kind of story that gets much higher billing and takes media oxygen away from the newly crowned King and Queen.
However, while I’m sure the monarchy would somehow survive the shock of a Princess rejecting more diamonds than Garrard has in its basement to instead channel her inner Byron Bay anti-vax ‘mama’, can the same quite be said for the royal family’s official ‘spectre at the feast’ Harry?
While the Duke is indeed set to attend, there the certainties end. According to the Mail on Sunday, the palace is still unsure “when he is coming, where he is staying, when he is going back and whether he is happy with his seating position in the Abbey”.
One source has said: “He has not been responding other than in a ‘We acknowledge your email’ holding manner. It’s like trying to communicate with Mars – it was easier to deal with Sinn Fein.”
And before we count our HRH chickens, that same source said: “While the royals are confident that he will show up, others involved are not quite so convinced.”
Even once the royal family manages to get Harry through the Abbey doors, the potential for disaster is not over. There are probably courtiers still in therapy over the poorly named Fab Four’s epicly sour final official outing as a quartet in March 2020. The photos of Meghan, whose smile looked like it had been surgically attached, and Kate, who looked as glum as Queen Victoria on a wet weekend, were the stuff of Buckingham Palace nightmares, with the deep fractures between them all on full, painful display.
So, can a similar situation be averted at the coronation? Will Harry be able to keep his now-usual thundercloud expression off his face? Will William and Kate even deign to look at him?
There are so many ways that having Harry back in the royal bosom could go wrong and only so long until my editor wants me to file, so onwards.
Thus we get to His Majesty, who has proven that even finally getting the crown hasn’t put a crimp in his surprisingly progressive approach to things, except that his latest bright idea is proving about as popular as a jumping castle at a palace garden party. (Now pony rides on the other hand…)
This week it was revealed that he has done away with the usual Pledge of Peers during the coronation and instead come up with the brilliant idea of an Homage of the People, which sounds like something George Orwell might have cooked up if he had read a lot of Hello! magazine.
In a statement, Lambeth Palace (aka the Archbishop of Canterbury’s lot) said: “A chorus of millions of voices [will be] enabled for the first time in history to participate in this solemn and joyful moment.”
It’s easy to see why this might have looked like a winning idea during some brainstorming session at the palace. Including the people in the service makes Charles look like a man of the people, even if his interactions with people are usually reserved for receiving lines and seeing them out the window of his Bentley.
Except the people don’t seem particularly keen.
For starters, given the lukewarm approval ratings that Charles currently has, this pledge is rife with the possibility for it to go oh-so-wrong. What if no one takes part? What if at the big moment the TV cameras cut to the crowds in Hyde Park watching on huge screens and everyone just mutely shoves another handful of cheese and onion crisps in their mouth?
Then there is the actual wording of the homage. Charles wants Brits to stand up and out loud say: “I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.”
What does “pay true allegiance” mean? Is this a promise to never again retweet @Republic UK? A promise to always have a royal commemorative tea towel in one’s kitchen forever more? A promise to pick up arms in defence of the King should they reboot Spitting Image?
Also, who in the name of god aka Jilly Cooper thought that including “heirs and successors” – which instantly brings to mind Prince Andrew and Harry – was a good idea? The only people eager to swear any sort of oath of fealty to these two spares are their lawyers who by now probably have their hearts set on buying a second Tuscan villa.
And here is the final rubbish icing on the cake. All of this is costing hundreds of millions of dollars. While some estimates have put the bill for the event, including the coronation concert featuring a Pussycat Dolls tribute band and the remaining members of Hearsay (oh wait I mean Katy Perry and Lionel Richie) and security, at $188 million, it has been reported the cost could top $470 million.
According to the Mirror, spiralling security costs to look after the hundreds of foreign dignitaries and royals jetting in for the event, could add hundreds of millions of dollars.
So essentially this is where we stand with regards to the coronation: Kate might be about to disappoint everyone, Harry might be about to upset the apple cart (and that’s if he turns up), Charles wants his people to make a pledge that everyone hates and the whole thing is going to cost an extortionate of money at a time when the UK is in the grip of a cost of living crisis.
So, if Camilla might need to use the WC mid-service then go for it Your Majesty. In the scheme of things, and given all the ways that this event could be about to enter disaster territory, a quick bathroom break would be the least of them.
Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles
Originally published as Kate Middleton set to break big coronation rule as day goes awry
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