Coronavirus restrictions: ‘Vertical consumption’ rule baffles Australia

From “vertical consumption” in SA to “designated dancers” in NSW, these are the bizarre COVID restrictions that amuse and baffle Aussies.

Natalie Brown

@natalieisbrown

4 min read

October 2, 2020 - 5:39PM

Restrictions lifted: This is what's allowed in Melbourne

Australians have spent much of 2020 adapting to an ever changing set of rules and restrictions, in an attempt to stem the spread of coronavirus.

Our exercise regimes, our travel plans, our dining habits, and even our romantic endeavours have been guided since March by health advice, often with different caveats depending on the state and territory where you reside.

It goes without saying that as the year’s worn on, some regulations have been received better than others – though it’s not just the more controversial rules that have made us question the status quo.

From “vertical consumption” in SA to “designated dancers” in NSW, these are some of the bizarre COVID-19 restrictions that amuse and baffle even the best of us.

If you raised your eyebrows at the term ‘vertical consumption’, you’re not alone. Picture: iStock

‘VERTICAL CONSUMPTION’ IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA

This week, the rules for South Australians heading out for a drink were eased – and while it was welcome news for all, two words uttered by Premier Steven Marshall sparked a tiny bit of confusion.

“For licensed premises, we will now allow vertical consumption outdoors,” Mr Marshall told reporters on Thursday.

If you raised your eyebrows at the term “vertical consumption”, you’re not alone.

South Australians invented the goon bag. And the Hills Hoist. Now we've just coined 'outdoor vertical consumption'. Coincidence? I think not. @bykemp
— Nick Harmsen (@nickharmsen) October 1, 2020

Vertical consumption sounds like something which might be needed to help horizontal fiscal equalisation
— Nick Harmsen (@nickharmsen) October 1, 2020

Remember South Australians too much â€œVertical Consumption" can often to lead to energetic "horizontal expulsion".
— Julian Schiller (@Julesschiller) October 1, 2020

Thankfully, it’s not a complex maths equation … or the title of a U2 album.

It’s simply a really technical way of saying you’re allowed to go to a pub and stand up while you have a beer.

“Previously we’ve only allowed for seated consumption. We’ll be easing the restrictions on private functions in licensed premises – up to 150 people where we do allow vertical consumption and also dancing,” Mr Marshall said.

“This is going to be a big relief to many licensed premises who have not been able to have those functions on their premises. It’s going to be a big relief to event organisers.”

‘WIGGLING YOUR HIPS’ BUT NO DANCING IN QUEENSLAND

Night-life seems to be the source of many an amusing COVID-19 rule around Australia, and a new one regarding dancing in Queensland was no different.

If you were hoping Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk’s rollback of rules regarding hospitality venues meant you’d be given free reign of the dancefloor, think again.

Crowds line up at Cloudland in Brisbane’s Fortitude Valley. Picture: John Gass

Dancing at a bar or club isn’t even on the cards yet, with chief health officer Jeanette Young saying it still poses too much of a transmission risk.

“It’s about that close interaction. At venues there are a lot of people who don’t know each other, you wouldn’t normally interact with them,” Dr Young said.

“That’s why we want to start with weddings, where people genuinely do know each other.”

However, you can now do more than just sitting at your table and clapping your hands to the beat of the music, with Dr Young giving “standing up and wriggling your hips” at the bar the green light.

Let Queenslandâ€™s liturgical dancing renaissance begin
— Benjamin Law ç¾…æ—èƒ½ (@mrbenjaminlaw) October 2, 2020

SPECIAL TREATMENT FOR SEX PARTIES IN QUEENSLAND

A bit more of a controversial rule in the Sunshine State is that, while dancefloors are banned for their infection risks, group sex parties at adult venues are allowed.

Sex on Premises venues, or sex clubs, can operate in Queensland as long as they have a COVID Safe plan. The COVID Safe Industry Plan for Sex on Premises Venues and Adult parties calls the businesses “high risk” and recommends regular cleaning of “group rooms”, record keeping and staff training to mitigate risk.

Swingers club (sex club where you swap partners apparently. Car keys in a bowl???) are legal in Queensland but dancing at weddings isnâ€™t. Covid madness? Not often I get a belly laugh out of the 8am @abcnews radio bulletin. ðŸ’ƒ ðŸ”‘
— Ellen Fanning:Journo (@ellenmfanning) September 8, 2020

Numerous industry leaders have called for the allowances to be reviewed, however, with wedding entertainer Nik Edser telling the ABC the rules are “ironic”.

“The irony is if I was invited to a wedding this weekend to attend with my wife and I wanted to dance with her there, then I wouldn’t be allowed to,” he said.

“But if we decided to go to a sex club and swap partners with some people who we don’t know where they’re from or who they really are, that’s OK.”

‘DESIGNATED DANCERS’ IN NSW

Brides and grooms-to-be no doubt rejoiced when NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian announced at the end of September dancing would once again be allowed at weddings around the state. But as is the case with 2020, there was a caveat to the rule.

While weddings are allowed to have as many as 150 guests, only 20 “designated dancers” are allowed to let loose – while the other guests look on.

Only 20 people at a wedding of up to 150 guests are allowed to dance under NSW’s new COVID-safe rules.

As if a wedding in the middle of a global pandemic wasn’t stressful enough, the bride and groom must also choose the 20 dancers in advance.

“Bridal parties of up to 20 can be on the dance floor, but I stress, it is the same 20 – you cannot have a roster of different guests of 20,” Ms Berejiklian explained.

“It has to be only be the same, up to 20, who are part of the bridal party, not just the bride and groom.”