Hunt for paradise in Thailand
A DAY trip to the Phi Phi Islands can show the best of Thailand's many natural gifts. But, as Patrick Lion discovered, nature can be fickle.
LIKE so many "happy endings" in Thailand, this journey begins in a seedy backroom establishment in an alley just off Bangla Rd in Patong's red-light district.
We're in Joey's DVD store, a Phuket bootlegging enterprise which stocks latest releases and bestsellers around these parts such as The Beach, the 2000 blockbuster about Leonardo DiCaprio's hunt for the perfect strip of surf.
Leo is still not alone and the Thais are certainly not shy in milking Hollywood for all they can in promoting the swag of day trips from the island of Phuket.
Ko Ping Kan, the leaning rock island in the north of the Gulf of Thailand, is popular for James Bond fans wanting to revisit The Man With The Golden Gun.
But Leo's Beach, filmed on the Phi Phi Islands, is No. 1 with a bullet again, after the 2004 Boxing Day tsunamis flattened resorts and killed hundreds there.
I am also in pursuit of the perfect coastline, the sort Surfers Paradise promised in name but failed to deliver, somewhere which feels uninhabited, away from the hustle of Patong, where the water glistens so blue and clear it must be fake.
The next morning, it's pouring rain. Our 20-seater speedboat, bobbing up and down in the gale-force winds at a Koh Sirae jetty on the east coast of Phuket, is not going anywhere. Our crew want calmer waters.
The day trip is the most popular run by Club Med, an all-inclusive resort on the Kata Bay beachfront on the southwest corner of Phuket.
As with most Western resorts, the trip does cost more than local operators but includes lunch, shuttle transfers and the comfort of going with an English-speaking G.O (Gentile Organiser). Ours is Deseray, a Frenchman.
Club Med Phuket offers a range of activities – from archery to golf and even must-see nightly trapeze shows in the theatre. But the lure for parents such as New Zealand couple Jan and Peter Nicholson looking for time alone is the recently expanded Kids Club. Their five-year-old son Nathan is there for the day in the the Mini Club Med section for four to 12-year-olds.
"He has had a ball there every day, playing games with other kids – they even take them on nature walks and stuff – and it gives us time alone to enjoy being together," they say.
Twenty minutes after Deseray, the Nicholsons and I have huddled on the boat, our anchor has become tangled with that of another vessel.
Operation Phi Phi, the dream of perfection, has not begun well.
What's more, the Andaman Sea is angry, smashing our vessel against every wave on the 45-minute trip across the deep blue waters.
Our driver is grinning, no doubt amused at the stupid Australian who sat up the very front but is now groaning in pain as each wave crashes into the hull.
"The trip back is smoother," Deseray chuckles. "We will have the wind behind us then."
His fellow Frenchman sitting next to me is groaning something about the Mediterranean not being this rough. "We could die here," he mumbles.
Then Phi Phi appears: a clump of mushroom-shaped silhouettes bursting out of the haze. On cue, the sun arrives. So does the detail of jagged limestone cliffs covered in moss erupting out of the Andaman. A clear blue sky can now be seen in the reflection of that translucent turquoise coastline.
The Andaman, finally, is becoming still, shallower.
As our boat navigates a small gap in the limestone to enter Maya Bay, the site of Leo's Beach on the southern island of Phi Phi known as Phi Phi Lay, the superlatives flow.
Looking out at an almost complete circle of those mountainous cliffs, a strip of sand no longer than 100m runs along one side of the bay. Fish are everywhere. You can see them through the water. The photos back at Patong weren't doctored. Mother Nature, we now know, can be kind, too.
Despite other customers of Joey's DVDs finding their way here, too, the moment is not spoilt by overcrowding or pollution as daily boat trips generally linger only a brief time.
We only re-enter civilisation when the day trip moves to the main island of Phi Phi Don, where expensive resorts and over-priced markets sell the staples of bootleg T-shirts and unhygienic roadside-cooked food.
In keeping with the Club Med competitive spirit, another inlet on Phi Phi Don is dubbed the Spring of God, the site of an Olympic-style diving competition off the front of the boat.
There is snorkelling at Monkey Beach, where the reef is better viewing than the mainland but still well short of the Great Barrier Reef. You can also swim at the rather boring Bamboo Island.
You see, the heart and mind is still back at Maya Bay, where for the first time on a Thai adventure one can appreciate peace of mind – and stillness.
As I waddle out into the turquoise, I'm not thinking about those annoying touts outside Joey's any more. I'm not even thinking about that beer-drinking tuk-tuk driver who wanted 50 Baht not to overtake on corners.
I'm thinking about Mother Nature, and how it can be so cruel and kind so quickly.
And I'm also thinking of our trip back to Koh Sirae: smoother, with the wind at our backs.
Getting on the boat after the swim, our Thai boat driver is grinning again. This time his pearly whites are saying, "I told you it was worth it."
So many happy endings in Thailand. And now this is mine.
The writer travelled to Phuket as a guest of Club Med.