The seriously weird overseas laws you need to watch out for

EVERYONE knows you have to be careful in Dubai. But did you know there’s a country you can’t take mineral water into? That’s just the start.

LET’S be honest: Australia is pretty relaxed when it comes to our social customs.

When you grow up in a country that venerates a bushranger as a national hero and prefers to shorten its words out of sheer bone laziness, you don’t take things too seriously.

This informal approach to life can be our undoing overseas, where Australians can unwittingly fall foul of international laws that may seem ridiculous to us, but are treated extremely seriously nevertheless.

“Australian travellers appear to become more adventurous while they’re overseas and are more likely to do things they wouldn’t do at home,” notes Fast Cover Insurance CEO, Dean Van Es.

“But you’re not going to be covered by travel insurance if you’re breaking the law. Ignorance of the law is not an adequate defence for breaking it.”

Here are some of the tricky laws to watch out for:

THE TROUBLE HOT SPOT

Most of us are aware that publicly kissing and touching your partner can land you in hot water in Dubai. In 2008, a British couple was given a three-month suspended sentence for having sex on a beach, while in 2010 another British couple, who were merely friends, spent a month in jail for allegedly kissing in a restaurant.

But did you know in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) even a tiny amount of illicit drugs in your bloodstream or urine is considered possession? It might be best, too, to leave the Nurofen Plus at home as drugs containing codeine are not allowed to be brought into the country. If you do need to bring any drugs with you — even if they are over the counter — make sure you have a note from your doctor.

There are stunning sights to see in the UAE, but it's a good idea to know the law before you go.

Also, watch your language on social media. Last year, a court fined a local UAE man $AU1160 for swearing at another man on social media messenger service Whatsapp. When the man appealed, the Supreme Court ruled that the fine was too lenient and the crime in future should be subject to a $96,900 fine, plus possible imprisonment or deportation.

WATCH YOUR MOUTH

Thailand is a mixed bag when it comes to rules and regulations, where sex tourism sits glaringly alongside some truly punitive laws.

For example, disrespecting Thailand’s king by insulting him or defacing images of the monarchy (such as accidentally stepping on a bank note) can result in up to 15 years in prison. Even talking about the monarchy is littered with potential to cause offence, so the best advice is to not mention them.

Don’t even think about defacing pictures like this of Thailand’s King. Picture: Sakchai Lalit/AP

Also, it is illegal to throw your chewing gum on the ground in Thailand. There’s a pretty hefty fine if you get caught (around $800) and if you don’t pay you could end up in a Thai jail.

DON’T GET BURNED

Don’t let the two-for-one mojitos go to your head in the tropical paradise destinations either.

Sunbathing topless is illegal in Fiji and punishable by large fines, and in much of the Caribbean, it is an offence for anyone, including children, to dress in camouflage clothing. So leave the camouflage print army shirt and cargo pants at home.

Other places ban alcohol altogether.

The Maldives — a haven for honeymooners — imposes a ban on bringing in pornographic material and alcohol. That includes sex toys and any liquor sold duty-free past airport security, so leave those items behind unless you want to risk a fine.

The Maldives might be every honeymooner’s dream, but don’t even think about bringing in duty free.

Drinking alcohol is banned in the Indian states of Gujarat, Kerala, Manipur, Mizoram, Nagaland and in the territory of Lakshadweep. Sale of alcohol, as well as consumption in public, is also banned in Brunei.

THE TRULY BIZARRE

Then there are those rules that defy any commonsense and you are most likely to break unless warned otherwise.

It is illegal to take mineral water into Nigeria, for example, and historic sites, such as the Acropolis in Greece, have banned the wearing of high heels for fear of causing damage to ancient monuments.

Danish law includes a few doozies, too. Danish drivers must have dimmed headlights on at all times, even in daylight, and in France you must carry a high-vis vest with you while driving in case you break down, or risk a $207 (AUS) fine.

Furthermore, in Portugal it is illegal to urinate into the sea, while in Milan it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, unless attending a funeral or visiting a hospital!

Liz Hurley abiding by the law in Milan. Picture: Pietro D’Aprano/Getty Images

Follow Johanna Leggatt on twitter @johannaleggatt