Expat slams Australia’s public transport, abundance of spiders in TikTok video

Australians have no concept of distance, a confusing public transport system and a government that’s like “strict parents”, a British expat says.

Australians have no concept of distance, a confusing public transport system and a government that’s like “strict parents”, according to a British expat living here.

Comedy writer Jordana Milward, 34, has taken to TikTok to reveal the things she wished she knew before she relocated from London to Brisbane, where she currently lives.

She said one of the most striking differences between the UK and Australia was because our country is so large and vast, we have no problem with travelling large distances to go somewhere or see someone.

“Distance, as a concept, is something I don’t think Australians are really aware of,” she said in her video.

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British woman Jordana Milward has revealed the things she wished she knew before she moved to Australia.

“In the UK, if you go over to a friend’s house for a cup of coffee, it's like a 10, 15 minute drive, max.

“Whereas here, if someone’s like, ‘Wanna pop over for a coffee?’ it could be, like, an hour’s drive.

“Because Australia is so big, distance is not a thing that worries people.”

She said Australians would happily drive for hours for a trip to the beach, whereas in the UK, a similar trip would be a full day’s excursion requiring advance planning.

“If I was going to do that distance in the UK, before I left the house I’d turn the TV off at the wall, make sure everyone’s fed, leave emergency numbers – that kind of distance is like a whole day excursion,” she said.

“So if you want to blend in here, you have to be very careful about how you react.

“To be Australian, it’s not just about having citizenship – it’s a state of mind.

“So if someone’s like, ‘Do you want to do to the beach?’ you don’t panic. You just reply with this: ‘Four hours away? Too easy.’”

Another amusing aspect of life in Australia, according to Milward, is the “weird” way Australians abide by laws.

She said as opposed to the UK, where she said locals didn’t fear penalties from authorities for not following COVID-19 instructions, Australians understood that “actions have consequences”.

“It’s weird living in a country where the government have power over us,” she said. “They’re like your strict, but loving, parents.”

Milward also told followers back at home that Australia was not plagued by spiders, like they thought, and spiders were less of an issue in the city.

But one thing she did struggle with was Queensland’s public transport system: namely, the buses.

While in the UK, signs indicate the upcoming stop, in Australia, you need to already know where to alight.

“You get on and tell the driver where you want to go, and he just has to remember your stop,” she said.

“It’s like Australians play a game of guess the tourist – it’s the one who looks panicked because they don’t know where they’re going!”